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prudence

.
sometimes I find, to my amusement, thinking of the past
brings, with nostalgia, sagacity
so preached to me from when I stood (and sometimes quite aghast)
while eyeballing the top of my dad's knee

such things as those he told me from the time I was a kid -
to always choose the right tool for the job
and learn to change my own flat tyres, steer into the skid
behind the wheel be neither snob nor slob

and wise words, too, from mum, along with take a handkerchief
and visiting the loo before a journey
and changing knickers every day, in order that one’s briefs
when having accidents, are never dirty….

when visiting the dentist, he can see right up your nose
so you be sure that it is extra clean
you’ll make a good impression if you moisturise your elbows
‘cos some folk see you from where you’ve just been

there is another insight that, said so repeatedly
it has to be a major piece of acumen
my senile great-grandfather taught me, while upon his knee -
the best damn cheese (I’m quoting here) is Eden

I smile as I conjecture, if the Big Forget occurs
there are a few small things I will remember
those phrases of pure prudent wisdom ingrained since a toddler
and destined to stay til my late December

my nose and elbows always clean, my hankie indispensable
my undies spotless even through the slews
my independence maintained as I use the fit utensil
to slice the piece of Eden that I choose
.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Comments

I didn't even finish reading this, about to collapse under the weight of malaise and painkillers, but the superfluity of the opening lines struck me

some moments spent in reminiscing, thinking of the past
bring, with nostalgia, sagacity

3 synonyms! It could almost as well be said, disregarding rhyme and meter

some moments spent with nostalgia bring sagacity

I can only say 'ware over-writing for form.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

i will have to work on this i see :)

lol - i love your line for use in a free form.... :)
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

would love your opinion when you're feeling up to it xx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

my nose and elbows always clean,
my hankie indispensable
my (undies,)........
spotless....
even through the slews
my independence maintained
as I use the fit utensil
to slice the piece of Eden
that I choose

perhaps this experience
made you a nurse ...

loved

born no-where near midnight according to my mother - (i can't vouch for her though as i don't remember :))
thanks loved
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

all mothers are
they never know
when they gave birth then
to so many kids..
now also a single one
few know
still ..
get a hospy recording

loved

and with all I can relate. You brought great memories down here. I wrote once of similar meaning but it is nothing to be compared with yours.
Though you tend to lengthen some of the lines,which I am sure you are aware of , I think Wes. will be happy to see all types of rhymes running in this piece .
I really love it and enjoyed every thought and memory there.
Thanks for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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for the lovely and supportive comments
- and don't put your work down, girlfriend, i'm sure it is a great piece you wrote :)
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

to my ear there is a mis-stressed rhyme on
when visiting the dentist, he can see right up your nose
so you be sure that it is extra clean
you’ll make a good impression if you moisturise your elbows

a small thing

My major crit? There is nothing amongst the petty wisdom worthy of basing your choice of Eden on. I guess that is the point, the small things add up. Fair enough. Kudos.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

i so appreciate your crit and help
- now go and have a warm toddy and get better xx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

yes the unerwear thing does mean a little more as we age :)
thanks for the great comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
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