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"By the Pricking . . . ."

“By the pricking of my thumbs
Something wicked this way comes.”
From Shakespeare I did steal that line,
What follows next, that’s partly mine!
(A horrid man is that Macbeth!
His witches aren’t much better yet.)
These strong gusts of wind last night?
Those were witches, doing spite.
Lightning did not cause weird power glitches—
No, with darkness came three witches
And, “Double, double toil and trouble”—
They sure meant to turn my yard to rubble.
Now my cactus leans there, less one arm;
And since I’d lost my good-luck charm!
So much worse their curse now is:
They hexed me with ar-thur-i-tis!
Now I ache, and it’s hard to smile,
But, I’ll try to--in a while.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
Last few words: 
This is a nonsense poem, nothing more.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

stab at the "Season of The Witch". I understand that this is not a serious piece, but the scansion could be a little better. I thought that maybe you could spiff that up a bit with either adding or deleting a syllable here and there.
Example: Lightning did not cause weird power glitches
No, with darkness came three witches.

.How about: The lightning caused no power glitches
. And with darkness came three witches.

Still, it was much fun and a good addition to the Halloween scene. ~ Geez.
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Well, you probably gathered that I had given those witches little thought. Will I bring that poem up to an acceptable standard? Maybe. In this form it served only as a finger exercise; arthritis is my curse. So, I had to find some scapegoats; those witches and last night's storm. Thanks for reading and offering your splendid suggestions. Jerry

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author comment

Hi Jerry, I enjoy nonsense poems. Particularly addicted to Lewis Carrol's poetry and another whose name I've forgotten.
Yours is certainly up to scratch and made me laugh, I needed that. Geez has already made good suggestions, I agree with him. I made some slight changes in the verses below. TorT.

With darkness came three witches:
“Double, double toil and trouble”—
They turned my yard to rubble.
My cactus leans there, less one arm;
And since I’d lost my good-luck charm!

Bring on more, now that you have the screen shader! All the best.

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

thanks for laughing at my silliness, and my poem is silly. I'm not sure that I'll touch it again. I still enjoy Jabberwocky, in fact all of Carrols writings. Okay, dear, I have to get dressed for a visit to our friend Jean. But I shall return to work on a fresher theme than the one you had commented on. Frankly, that poem--sucked wind (which we had last night). Thanks, dear. Jerry

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author comment

Is It about me? lol.

Hey I will just say from your title which in British could leave you red faced Sir, it's another name we (not I) use for the weeny? Just a heads up in case lol
A very fun poem, Sir there are a few witches in my town.

Thank you...Teddy

but as we say in these parts, "if the shoe fits, wear it," weenies or hotdogs notwithstanding. Thanks for liking my p-p-oem. Your servant, Madame,
Signor Girardo

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author comment

Ok sir!

Thank you...Teddy

I'll post a sonnet in the morn, just for you, but only 'coze you are nice and sooooooooo funny.
Il Signor Jerrybaldi

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author comment

and that line was also used in a Ray Bradbury novel excellent I might add

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

yes, "Something wicket this way comes" was the title of the novel. Ray took that line from Macbeth. Thank you for reading my somewhat uneven poem; but as you may know, too much perfection in a poem can be the poem's imperfection, lol. Thanks, dear heart. Jerry

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>Please visit my website: www.jerrykspoetry.com

author comment
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