Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Prey

You, the fire, intent on burning it all
with the heat of a blue-white flame
aimed at my kindling heart

There is no comfort for me here
Where love was sought
I found wolves at the door

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
An exercise in brevity, inspired by a recent poem by Teddy. Although, the living of this was far from brief, LOL!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hello, Michael,
I believe you when you say that the living of this was far from brief - I feel the agony and great heartache. Pretty intense language used in the brevity of your poem. Very good.
Thank you!
L

Appreciate your comments L! This one took longer to write than some of my longer pieces. So few words, they all had to be right. Glad you enjoyed it!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Thanks T! I wasn't sure about the last stanza, as the "wolves at the door" phrase is a bit of a cliché metaphor. I tried several variations, but kept coming back the original. Just seemed to work best.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

wonderful write. "aimed at my kindling heart" that is one powerful line

Chrys

check out our chat room open to all 24/7

Thank you for sharing your thoughts Chrys!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

your smiling face as you opened the door; expecting to receive a comforting hug and kiss, but meeting the snarling face of reality. Awesome!
~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

You have captured the mental vision I still have of this time quite well Geez - thank you!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Hello Michael, this is a true exercise in brevity. It's powerful and beautifully written. I love the last lines "when love was sought I found wolves at the door." That imagery is awesome.
Enjoyed, Gracy

*
*
*
"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Thank you for the visit Gracy! This was an interesting write for me. Trying to condense a toxic relationship into a couple of stanzas was an interesting challenge. Glad it seems to have worked.

Cheers

Michael Anthony

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.