Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Prey

You, the fire, intent on burning it all
with the heat of a blue-white flame
aimed at my kindling heart

There is no comfort for me here
Where love was sought
I found wolves at the door

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
An exercise in brevity, inspired by a recent poem by Teddy. Although, the living of this was far from brief, LOL!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hello, Michael,
I believe you when you say that the living of this was far from brief - I feel the agony and great heartache. Pretty intense language used in the brevity of your poem. Very good.
Thank you!
L

Appreciate your comments L! This one took longer to write than some of my longer pieces. So few words, they all had to be right. Glad you enjoyed it!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

wow, you made me gasp, 2 very strong stanza's i especially like your last line, the imagery is so visual and powerful, i think you have definately achieved it. it's one of my favourite ways of writing short yet full. moreover its really beautiful.

i feel really humbled, thank you.

Thank you...Teddy

Thanks T! I wasn't sure about the last stanza, as the "wolves at the door" phrase is a bit of a cliché metaphor. I tried several variations, but kept coming back the original. Just seemed to work best.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Dear Michael,

It's a brilliant end, I never care personally about cliché this sits beautiful, as you have heard from others. I may come knocking at your door some day when it's hot looking for a fan! LoL I still love that one. Michael you are a glutton for punishment dear!

Thank you...Teddy

wonderful write. "aimed at my kindling heart" that is one powerful line

Chrys

check out our chat room open to all 24/7

Thank you for sharing your thoughts Chrys!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

your smiling face as you opened the door; expecting to receive a comforting hug and kiss, but meeting the snarling face of reality. Awesome!
~ Geez.
.

Announcing the new chatroom! I will be hosting a chatroom on Saturday nights
from 8pm until 9pm [EST] this coming Saturday. Stop in and
shoot the breeze with the Geez. Our Chatroom is open 24/7
.

You have captured the mental vision I still have of this time quite well Geez - thank you!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Hello Michael, this is a true exercise in brevity. It's powerful and beautifully written. I love the last lines "when love was sought I found wolves at the door." That imagery is awesome.
Enjoyed, Gracy

*
*
*
"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Thank you for the visit Gracy! This was an interesting write for me. Trying to condense a toxic relationship into a couple of stanzas was an interesting challenge. Glad it seems to have worked.

Cheers

Michael Anthony

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.