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in the presence of joy

silence surrounds rustling tinsel
the true meaning of christmas
left yesterday

gasping for breath
tears of loneliness
glimmer a memory
shining a sad smile

with a rising glance
A miracle appears
as each drop falls

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I love reading short poems such as these because I find that they are the ones which that pack the most punch. It took me about two tries to make a conjecture as too what happens in the end of the poem and it was very well done. I also admire the opening line of your poem; I myself believe that the opening line is the most important part of the poem for it is responsible for catching the readers attention. All in all good job, I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work.

thank you so much for the review and comment i am away from home on holiday so i must apologise for the shortness of my reply ... Ilook forward to returning and reading you

Thanks again for the comment i do appreciate it

Regards Jayne-Chloe

P.s i agree that the first line is important nice call

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

SOMEBODY has been learning stuff in school lol. Only fault is Christmas should be capitalized. I envision an old widow/widower taking down the tree the day after Christmas......alone.............stan

lol i have been busy ... I will have a look at your suggestion with Christmas .... Not a widower but definately someone spemding xmas alone ...
Thanks for the read and comment ...

Regards JC x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment
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