Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Prayer of An Unwed Mother

Hush little baby please don’t cry
There’s not a speck of hope in the vast night sky
You got a mommy who loves you
She’s doing her best
She’s rented a room
So you can get some rest
Cuz she cannot sleep if you keep on crying

Hush little baby please don’t moan
You’ll make it through cuz you’re not alone
You’ve got a mommy who needs you
Though she may weep
For your daddy who has
A Promise to keep

Hush little baby please don’t wail
For once in his life
Your daddy cannot fail
I’ll bring you up
I’ll treat you right
If only I can make it
Through this night

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 


I liked this one, as to the form others will come in and give that correction, but the theme is a good one.
One thing I will say is that, this theme needs a very strong after effect piece to drive the message home to the young ones, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I thought you were going to end with a stanza threatening the dad or the baby or both!

I never thought of that. It's interesting. I will think about it. As for the structure the poem originally started out as a song (sort of in the style of Pretty Little Horses) But thank you both for the comments!

author comment

Ush little baby don't you cry
Mammals gonna buy you a diamond ring
And if that diamond ring don't...
Mama's gonna buy you a....
But a nice alternative vision to it

Your reply gave me the picture of lots of little animals waiting in line to buy diamond rings at the jewellers, the owl and the pussy cat could be told where to purchase a ring for their wedding as that damn pig has been rooting up my lawn lol.
Have a lovely day, Yours Spuggy
(Sparrow, Yenti, Ian.T and of course Le moineau)

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

been on the road and met those
still had their kids lost them
or never got the years taken away
back...Still had hope some of
them..Hang your hopes on a star
an Hour the dawn the peace of
the walls cutting out the vast noise
of expansive freedom....

poem touched me...My mom gave
me up when I was three months
had too..for the best.....I had to
walk from Chloe when she was

some things you have to do
Good solid Poetry here

Thank You!

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.