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Prayer for a Rainy Day

The sun beats hard
The land warms in support
I pray for a rainy day

Toil and sweat
from simply talking
I pray for a rainy day

What can I do?
There can be no answer
I pray for a rainy day

For no one god
do I believe
So who do I pray to
For this rainy day

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

to Neopoet. I like the hardness, the preciseness of the lines, this makes it feel as though the sun is baking them into the landscape. The repeating lines seem as though the prayer is a memory brought to wet the land and cool things off. The only line I have a little problem with, is the one "The land warms in support," it doesn't seem harsh enough for the tone of the poem. I would try to make it something that portrays the extreme of heat. Otherwise, well done. Your rhythm and pattern march across the landscape and the theme is good. Your beginning and end well thought out. ~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

It is a granite surface.

"For no one god
do I believe".

could become:
"For no one god do I believe"
in order to stick to th 3 line stanzas.

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