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Prayer

my souls a ploughed ground
in a folding chandler of bones
staring into a night of burnt steal
black star
third eye
a wing with sight
sitting on the knee of lotus
the knee of listening
the knee of your voice
speak-less
i move from some inner locomotion
distant from the minds arson
that old inner argument,
self; plucked thorn
a burning city dire

i vacillate like a blurring shadow
a feathered ghost
skull of the arcane
and in a split second
find you like a space ship in the woods

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

you and Marcel Duchamp. The poem exists outside of logic. reads well, whatever its about. I love the ending. great imagination.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

I've always been board by most stories They seem like an endless repetition of the same existential themes
I look to poetry and art in general for the experience of sensations brought about by events that transform consciousness Architypes are generally explained through the mythic narrative but in their essence they are other worldly configurations of subtle energy that can being about peek experiences and altered states

The space ship in the forest is simply that which is transformational, because it is the unexpected answer to a riddle of consciousness that changes ones life. I think you sense that which is perhaps why in spite of its apparent meaninglessness the poem may strike a cord. That is because everything has both a concrete aspect and a hidden one It may be that the hidden is not completely claimable through language ( the name it claim it mentality ) but through feeling and can be transmitted through sensibility When an artist makes an object painting the viewer says it a this or that ie their moment of edification and validation When a viewer looks at a great abstract or color field the feelin is one of pure sensation This is more connected to pure consciousness than identification The universal / euphoric vs the tribal /material to be perhaps simplistic about it since there may be overlap

Thank you for reading my poem Im glad you like it ;)

Best Z

author comment

A prayer can have a different meaning to anybody but I think I like this prayer keep it high.

Until you live and allow life to pass through you you will never understand life.

I rather learn how to fish than beg for one.

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