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The Poor Old Tramp's Attempted Suicide

He has no home,
No place in this cold dark city
Where he may lay his head
Except the cold, cold gutter.
All alone, no Mum or loving wife to care for him;
Not a soul to give him succour.

His life has been a catastrophe,
A series of disasters.
From birth has he led
A life of rank inconsequence.
Why not end it now? .
He could. He can. He must. He will!

In the lowly alley where
His filthy, sore-covered body
Lies in soiled and odious rags
He resolves his terminating actions,
Crawling around drunkenly
Among the soggy rat droppings.

He's searching for the wherewithal
With which to end himself.
At last, a broken bottle - So
He takes it to his waiting throat.
But, sod it, it's made of plastic
And would not cut through butter hot.

So, instead of sharply slitting
His eagerly attentive jugular,
He's barely scratched the grimy epidermis.
And while he lies sobbing in the culvert
Some bloody passing dachshund
Micturates thoughtfully on his cranium.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
I believe Americans call tramps "bums" Which is odd because a bum is your bottom.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

The choice of your words had the desired effect on me ... Gosh!

raj (sublime_ocean)

odd about that? A dirty bum, is a dirty bum. What is worse than a dirty bum? If one has no paper to clean himself with, he would have a dirty bum. I've heard the Brits call someone an ass, which is what we call your bum. Where does the tramp come in? ~ Geez.
.

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...the Atlantic divides linguistically. What we call a fanny, you call an ass. What you call an ass, we call the Donald. And so it goes on.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

laughing out loud. ~ Geez.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

Yes, a tramp is something entirely different here in the States. We (well, not me) call the homeless bums. I am not apposed to calling my friends bums to jab at them, however.
I particularly liked the sound of "wherewithal with which."
It is sad to think that the pissing on the tramps head was thoughtful—and the sentiment really lends to the state of mind of the tramp—as if it were appropriate or deserved.
Interesting piece, Edna
Enjoyed

raffy

...was a pensive pooch.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment
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