Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Polarized Perspectives:

All the world's A stage
As we rage and disengage
World is more a cage

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Wordless worth
Editing stage: 

Comments

the world is a stage actually

I like the idea but something for me doesn't fit...perhaps something like

If all the world's a stage
As we rage and disengage
All the world is more a cage

Something like that, as there is action in the poem which needs clarifying. right now we have

Statement
Phrase ( I think it is an "infinitive phrase" starting with as, but I'm not a grammarian)
Incomplete sentence.

maybe its like a puzzle, I surely get the idea, so my take is needs a tweek to tie tighter.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

appreciate your review - if i changed the wording as you have suggested, the syllable count would be affected and the poem would not be a rhyku, my specialty. anyway thanks for the input and I have responded in lowercase due to your ee cummings tribute.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.