Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

POINT SOURCE POLLUTION

A little thing from old site's blog........................

The canary just dropped dead
while swinging in its cage
just one chirp of fear and dread
a definite pollution gauge

The dog whines scratching at the door
attempting to gain fresh air
escape is what he's begging for
an exit from his usual lair

That fly that's been buzzing all day
is twitching on the oval rug
I guess he's down and out to stay
one less fly, I sit and shrug

The smoke alarm is singing out
( and Sue's not trying to cook )
" Turn that damn thing off ! " I shout
thus receiving a dirty look

While walking past she gives a sniff
or three and then begins to frown
" Alarm would not be sounding if
you would just put your old arms down ! "

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Yes, it would appear a fly would prosper in the likes of this poem lol. Glad to bring a smile to your face.............stan

author comment

at least you didn't say it stinks lol..................stan

author comment

Well, at least your poetry doesn't suck.

lol.

~A

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.