Where to start?

To be honest I thought I am reviewing science lessons to my daughter LOL..Kidding..
I really enjoyed your rebellious state of mind, that trip that brought you and me as a reader accidently to that secret like or magic like place.

Now why I liked this piece? Always for not a few reasons, most important

1. You've set the scene really well in the first stanza and set my mood just perfectly.
2. you've chosen a variety of vivid voc.and a lot of imagination which created wonderful scenes all through.

I wished to have a more clear ending but I am sure it is only me .May be a hint from your side would help

Really really enjoyed

To carry internal rhymes all the way through a poem is tough isn't it?
Just one question, where is rhyme in s-2,l-3;s-3,l-2 ;s-4,l-3 and 4;s-5,l-2 and 4?
If they're near rhymes they're not near enough for my old eyes to spot them lol..............stan

It is/was my understanding that what was required was that the rhymes be contained in the same line. Oh well back to the study lol.............stan

Stan is right on this one. Interior rhyme is generally contained within the line.

In Stan's defense once again, I'm not certain I hear a compatible rhyme between

chortled/thought

In Judy's defense, not every line need rhyme (but it's more fun when they do).

These are seriously imaginative rhymes Judy, but I would expect nothing less from you.

wesley 

Personally, I despise the use of the "r" sound that is supposed to be so central to the English language. When you tell me that you have to go "warsh" your clothes I cringe. To my ear it makes the speaker sound like an uneducated buffoon, but it is a wide spread and (by many educated people) proper manner of pronunciation.
Therefore, some will hear "thourght" and come that much closer to a rhyme with "chort-led", but I think it's hideous.

In my epic (over 10,000 rhyming couplets now) you will never (NEVER) find me using that sick sound in any of my rhymes, but English writers the world over for centuries consider that sound to be not only acceptable, but preferable and an indication of a well read, well spoken individual.
This is not a dialect problem. Stan speaks differently than most of us because where he lives where they say "y'all". Dialects are mind numbingly numerous and broad in their range. The "r" is not. It is a supposedly well heeled manner of speech (that happens to make me want to hurl).

Since the subject is rhyme and thereby pronunciation a critical aspect of it, what though...r...ts does anyone have on this virus of the English language? How much effect does it have on our misunderstanding one another or is it in fact a rather trivial subject?

wesley

I don't like the sound and very few use it in California. I almost never hear someone say "warsh" as opposed to "wash". I think we would all be surprised if we lined up on separates sides of the room by how we pronounce "thought". I pronounce it "that" with a soft "A". No "R" involved and no one around me would use the "r". Not out of distaste or preference, but merely practice.
And yes, forgive me, but I don't like the sound at all.
wesley

I have never heard Americans pronounce 'thought' as 'that' on TV, it's 'thawt' in English, Australian and, to my ear, American. Bizarre.
cat, sat, hat, mat, thought?
I don't think so
bought, caught, rort, resort, thought
I reckon.
Also referring back to an earlier discussion, the first set of vowels are actually shorter, faster paced, than the longer vowels of the second set.

Love the poem, Judyanne, great language sound use.

it has a kind of genius, it is immensely clever in rhyme and content. Great kudos.

But I wonder if you think enough of it to re-write it into a more... to give it more... gestalt?