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Poetry In Motion...

Crippled by the inter-net
It's got a strangle-hold on me
Treated it like a pet
Now it won't set me free

Chained to my desk and chair
My fingers turned to claws
I'm stiff from toes to hair
I can't get up because

I might miss some news
About my favorite site
I want to see their views
So I'm sitting here all night

Oooohh ... I gotta go
Damn it, I can't wait
I'll be back before you know
If my eyes are seeing straight

They got crossed once or twice
From staring at the screen
I've got my glass, it's filled with ice
They're wondering where I've been

I just took a little bite to eat
While I was gone out to the pot
My wife said: "You look beat"
I mumbled that I'm not

It's like a magic potion
Or maybe some strong brew
Whoever had the notion
That this is good for you?

I've really tried to stop
I'm not getting far
Now I have a lap-top
I can have it in my car

Waiting for my shopping wife
I tap away the time
Now I can spend my whole life
In the making up of rhyme

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I found myself writing poetry in my car on my lap-top, while waiting for my wife.

Comments

I liked this write on the addictive property of the web......scribbler

an addiction, in of as itself! Now that it is so easy to share, it is even more addictive ! Thanks, ~ Gee

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i wrote one to this theme when i first discovered this site

love it gee
judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

the comments, I gather that this is a common theme.
Thanx, I'm glad I could bring a little light-heartedness to it. Love ya too, ~ Gee

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Good to see you, man. Made me chuckle, you did. Been there, done that, even down to the laptop, although I was going through the car-wash at the time, and not in the store parking lot. Didn't think it would work in there, but it did.

Nothing to crit about this though...as usual, lol.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

would have thought about trying it in the car-wash. I always wash my car at home; [about twice a year]. LOL
Thanks for the read,and the kind comments, glad to make you chuckle. ~ Gee

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An accurate description of our addiction to Neopoet.

Love Lou xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

a junkie with a new syringe!
Thanx, ~ Gee

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do, to be writing on your lap-top while driving! But I have found that keeping a little notebook in the car helps. of course you should definitely wait until you are at a traffic-light or even if you must, pull off into a parking lot. I do it occaisionally! Thanx for the read and comments, ~ Gee

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I simply liked your endeavor, because of your careful attention to both, the rhyme....and the meter...of this light-hearted, serendipitious poem.
Thanx, for this.
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

rhyme and meter are the backbone of poetry. To try and do one without the other, is like trying to eat cereal without milk!
The power of the inter-net is such a driving force these days, that I am truly afraid of it! It may just find a way to come and get me if I am not properly obeisant. But I figured a little levity might be tolerated. ~ Gee

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almost everyone of us knows someone personally, or at least of somone who has let the NET take over their life to the point of sadness. But then again, their are so many addictions to so many things, I wonder if that maybe we just have an addictive personality as humans in general? love ya, Thanx, ~ Gee

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"t's like a magic potion
Or maybe some strong brew
Whoever had the notion
That this is good for you?"

To this, I have no answer, but it is a damn good question. Perhaps we should hunt them down and dispatch them.

Enjoyed this one.

Ciao,

Victor

"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."

Unknown (at least to me)

that we creative types have a penchant for strong things: Drink, cars, wills, and various sundry items. Maybe we should just accept that we need something to hang our laundry out on, and this is cheaper than a psychiatrist! Thanx, ~ Gee

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This is a very nice account, transversed with much beauty and love for a special site. Thank you very much.
Regards
Ayaz

I don't know about the beauty, but I sure love Neo! Thanx for taking the time to comment, looking forward to seeing more of your work! ~ Gee

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Flow was brill ! A really good poem I thoroughly enjoyed reading and totally related to it .

Like your humour, look forward to reading more of your poems.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxx

you liked it ! My sense of humour is one of my best attributes, [or so I've been told]. It makes me feel good to have someone say they relate to something I've written. That is why I write, to share the things I find funny, and to express the things that others will find interesting. keep reading, I will keep writing as long as there are people who will read what I write. Love ya too, ~ Gee

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i am a shade worser than you,

i am always in motion
and
now i can't move ,
theres so much emotion ,
i've lost all my motion
sitting at the state
of poetic commotion
everlasting Intenet
has finally had all of me
Totally motionless i now be.

loved

at least you aren't emotionalless ! Great to see you still have a sense of humour. ~ Gee

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why do u say still

it does me still

I've always been in motion

even now and still

thanks friend
still i will be humourous
at will as always
still

loved

Don't look in the mirror, under the table or your bed
too tired to mop the floor or clean the kitchen,
I am the ghost of Neopoet past,
(what a gas!)
long live this edition of my addiction.
(floating in your head.)

Hi Stan, however, we all made it through, eh?

~A

us die-hards just kept plugging along, writing. Hmmmmm.... Ghost of Neo-past ! That sounds like a poem. ~ Gee

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because of the portability of the lap-tops and the internet. I find that many people don't stop stop completely, they just slow down, and add the computer to whatever they are doing. ~ Gee

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thanks for sharing... this is something all of us experience in some form or other and in varying intensities. No one is immune. Pleasant read. Hope we always give you something to tap away with at your keyboard.

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

Always glad to share, and don't worry about me having something to write about. I have penty of ideas, and things that I get from Neo. and the poets here. Thanks for the read and comments. ~ Geezer

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I could reveal is something many would envy. And I suppose we could also say that this trove of ideas is available to all... it is ours for the taking, if we but allow our Muse. :-)

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

extremely lucky to have such a wealth of information and ideas available to us. It is up to us, to take advantage and make the fullest use of it all. Thanks for the read and comments, ~ Geezer

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to see your comments, but I do realise that you have constraints. I never feel slighted by your absence, just worried. This was just something that came about one night, when I realised how much I had missed being on Neo. Love and the biggest hugs of all, ~ Gee xxx

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