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The Poetic Prostitute...

She writes such beautiful poetry
as she lies there in that bed
She can write a wonderful story
all the words kept in her head

Her body left to do those things
that she has to do
Her mind cries out, a song it sings
beautiful poems for you

Words of wonder, things that shine
no thought of what she does
Never once, does she lose her mind
it's all for the greater cause

The smiling face of her little boy
she sees it clearly now
It brings to her such a joy
and the memory of her vow

All that matters are the words she shares
with the world of reading souls
Those folks that can't do what she dares
to keep them from the cold

Stories that she keeps in mind
she locks them all away
So many, many different kinds
To be written down one day

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

if a prostitute's art can be related to poetry, as it seems to me closer to performance art, but I suppose at times, a prostitute might say some poetic things..lol.
I wonder what s(he) might write about concerning experiences. I wonder, would limericks dominate the form, or perhaps villanelles...we may never know.
As usual, your meter and rhyme are technically admirable and the story carries through well. The title carries an essence of tongue-in-cheek, and it's perfectly relatable. Great job.

Cheers!

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

it's all about disassociation. While she does what she does, she writes poetry in her head to take her away from the hurt.
~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

it is the juxtaposition of the two that is being presented. While she employs herself by doing the difficult things that she must (being mostly regarded of a lowly pursuit), the beautiful things she thinks about are mostly worthless. All to protect her son.
I incorrectly understood she was doing the poetry at the same time she was doing a service. Apologies

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

you were right! This is what she does, while she does what she does. In order to keep her mind from what is going on, she splits away from what is happening to her body, by writing poetry in her head. When I was going through a divorce and having a very difficult time in living in the same house with my ex, I could read a book, watch T.V. and tell someone what was happening with both of the other things. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

...talk about multitasking...I won't go any further than that.

good poem.

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

..I see where the confusion started for me. It was the initial stanza. I think if the disassociation was presented stronger, it would be more clear.

Of course, no one can write for another person, but just an idea...

She writes such beautiful poetry
as her tolerant body's spread
in another world, another story
is forming in her head

Thomas

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.

...so like my lost dreams...the flood

but I would have thought that the title would have given you a clue! ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

Thanks for pointing that out. I feel so stupid.

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.

...so like my lost dreams...the flood

that your lines would have made it VERY clear what was going on and I wouldn't say that you should feel stupid; that title could have been taken in many ways. It's all good and I am seriously considering adopting your lines in part or even wholly.
~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

wow! well... you have slapped me up-side the head, once again! what has me amazed is your intuition into a woman's heart and mind! I sit in awe of your talent. great structure. I feel the title is so-so, but I can't think of a better one I'll think on it and get back to you if I find a good suggestion. have a great evening.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I tried to put her feelings about what she does to keep her son and self from poverty, in that dissociative state. I can imagine that she has a talent for writing poetry, but not the talent for turning it into a living. Maybe someday... ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

of dissociative states: there are a lot people who disassociate and to look at them, you would never guess. great poem.

*hugs, Cat
ever eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Two time you failed to hold perfect rhyme though. "no thought of what she does"......try something like "of what she does? No thought or pause". i expect you already know of the second miss and it can be easily changed too......stan

the near rhyme was close enough to make it real and keep the rhythm. I feel that if you were to say those lines without looking at them, they would definitely pass. You got the premise of the poem perfectly while others missed it. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

Once we knew a widow penniless had daily two customers composed poetry in their minds only two guys young to young daughter ----older one she'd handle ...had a kid son looking on--- sad 'twas but then a life had to be swum
she did it no poetry came out you know what Gee
money makes all do even when one does not want to
This comment I will convert to poetry after hours 23 only jess slated it
if you agree weeks next winner poem life in real terms will be this one lol

want to have you winning too often lovedly, or Jess will be turning over in his grave! Making a living from writing poetry; indeed! But don't tell that to the people who write for greeting cards and gravestones. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

greeting cards yes
I went to a cards dealer with my poetic greetings
he laughed his guts out
came down the steps tumbling
he said lovedly lovely poetry
I will pay you just a scent
one puff
and if you accept
just a flying kiss
he had a long beard

and gravestones.

for graveyards poems I refused
coz he'd say now I need one
please give some donation
my heart you have broken
GEE I RAN
his tumble was fatal

the acquaintance of a person who wrote verse for greeting cards and gravestones, he made a decent living for writing verse for other people. Not everyone has that talent, of being able to take just a few words about someone's emotions and write something that expresses those feelings. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

my poem is titled "minor reprieve" in case you are interested.

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I am interested. Just couldn't find it. I'll go look again. Hugs back, Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment
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