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A Poet At Work 2

Like a nimble footed ballerina
the ink flows in a rhythm
choreographing a ballet
of a poetic song

Her steps create
visions of a Swan
flirting with her mate
with suave motions
while her heart and soul connects
to the ethereal melody
creating an extravaganza
of an eclectic sequence

A misstep is the essence
of her mortal charm
not dithering her form and figure
in an enthralling ballet

While the curtain falls
she takes the bow
and the choreographer returns
to his tranquil sanctuary

(with friendly suggestions from raj)

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

when I ask raj for suggestions for my "A Poet At Work" poem, he gave me this beautiful piece which have a lot of good words which I could learn and one helluva imagination to go with it.I fall in love with it so much that I decided to post it as another poem in honour and respect for his skills which no doubt, is far greater than mine. Enjoy..

Alid

author comment

Appreciate your gesture of commenting about my role. However, as mentioned to you, the basic idea / essence of this poem is completely yours. Neopoet being a workshop, as with all our friends here, I only offered my suggestions for the changes. Therefore please do not feel obligated and give me more credit for this poem than due. good to know you liked the suggestions.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

I can see you writing like I used to write experimenting with words I really love what your doing, I have a poem similar to this one I don't think its posted here at Neopoet anymore since the crash, I have hundreds of poems from the old site that I have yet to add here I will try and find it and share it with you, then you will see what I mean

Great work Raj on the suggestions

love and hugs JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

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