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A Poet At Work

My pen is dancing
the mind is working
ideas are pouring
the heart is singing

Imagery flowing
the logic is crafting
visions in fantasy
gives birth to beauty

words flowing, blooming
emotion growing, exploding
the universe is calling
this poet is replying

the writer's block returning
progress facing its enemy
the frustration is building
but surrender is not for me

thus this humble poem is written
in one of life's quietest moments.....

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

You have definitely captured the poet in motion! The title captures the essence of the poem. Your language use was very good. The rhythm etc. was nicely done. The whole poem is very good.

for the visit and the comments..;0)

Alid

Knowledge is a gift, health is wealth

author comment

This is a very expressive poem...well done friend...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

I can see you're working well with your meter. This shows a true improvement. Do you recognize it?
A nice theme too.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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the truth is, I don't even think about the meter in this. I'm just trying to use some of the styles I've seen from some of our friends' works and combine it with what I want to say. Perhaps you can tell me what it is so that I can improve further.

Alid

Knowledge is a gift, health is wealth

author comment

My pen| is danc| ing

the mind | is work| ing

ide|as are pour| ing

the heart | is sing| ing

If you look at this first stanza you can notice how each line "almost" consists of one unstressed syllable and one stressed syllable(which makes a feet + one unstressed syllable). This is called iambic meter. You have followed this pattern in almost every line which makes a smooth read.

Can you find where you "haven't" followed this same pattern? 

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

you have so nicely explained what lambic meter is, which i wasn't aware of.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

could it be this one?

the writer's block returning
progress facing its enemy
the frustration is building
but surrender is not for me

Alid

author comment

A dancing use of repetition and a clean meter to couch it.

This is the only line whose meter is troubled. Look at the rest and help it conform. A small poem with a consistent meter needs to be consistent throughout. A small slip can cripple an otherwise delightful poem.

"progress facing its enemy"

Do not fear the "block". Some of my best stuff came out of it. Know that the quality of poetry in those poems you fight with will be the same as those that write themselves. Sometimes we must struggle, sometimes we coast. Do me a favor though, don't write about writer's block anymore. You don't have the block... I magically remove it from you. Just because it's hard to write doesn't mean you are not producing.
Now, go and "block" no more.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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truth is I didn't write about the writer's block part when I first started to write this piece but I thought that it is too short so I put it in. What if I do away with that stanza and leave the rest as it is?What do you think?

Alid

Knowledge is a gift, health is wealth...

author comment

but one rule, there for a very good reason, is to try to avoid over-use of -ing as a rhyme and sound theme.
See what you think of the reading
https://soundcloud.com/jess-tapper/audio-recording-on-monday-1

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

to follow your suggestion, Jess.but I don't know if it works out on this piece..the meter might go crazy if I did,,

Alid

author comment
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