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A Poem for A Friend I Hurt (Unintentionally)

They say alcohol makes all things better,
I hope this is true; as I drown my sorrow in a bottle of liquor,
Drink till I black out; and shut my mind,
But the more I try to shut out;
Thoughts of you,
The more I see images of you,
Your beautiful face and divine smile,
Can a visage so pretty camoflage such bile?
My heart skips beats,
Every time I see you,
Till I fear I would die of a heart attack,
Let me apologise if you think I hurt you,
(I'd apologise even if I didn't hurt you),
Would you believe me if I told you "I love you"?
I swear I've loved you from afar,
Like a "sheep dumb before [my] Sherer I opened not my mouth,
Did my silence make me guilty?
By association?
And what's our bone of contention?
Phonological ambiguity,
I believe what my friend uttered was "hoe",
Not "whore",
Lol, I laughed,
Although;
I was not the one who enunciated the taboo syllables,
So why should I be struck with your vemon like sappho?
Why should I be the one you transfer your anger to?
I guess coz I was the only one you thought of as a friend,
And I failed you; coz your integrity I didn't defend,
But put yourself in my shoe,
When two friends fight what would you do?
Which side will u pick?
Would you start a fight over a harmless joke?
Maybe you would;
And maybe I should have,
I'm sorry....
Forgive me this once,
My goddess: forgive this pernitent sinner,
And I swear by all the gods I would be thine guidian angel,
I swear by jove I didn't call you a whore!
Please believe me,
Princess,
You're my Queen.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
A poem I wrote for a friend in the hope that she would listen to me, and if not she'll feel my pain in every line and listen to my side of d story because somebody told her I called her a whore behind her back and I swear I didn't.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Hope it's dope enough for an appology?

author comment

This needs a tidy up to let it flow
and the brackets they can go.
Use the " " " key
to give it a voice and you will see.
Poetry will become clear to me.
A few errors put under
And not only Thor was the God of thunder,
you were his boss and could rent heaven asunder. La La
.
I hope tis is true,
Tis is the short version of "it is" so the "is" becomes redundant.
.
My goDdess: forgive this pernitent sinner,
And I swear by all the gods I would be thine guidian angel,
I swear by jove I didn't call you a whore!
"Several spelling problems here,"
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

the poem does not describe the title and the deviation is such that you don't talk about the matter at all, maybe reconciliation with your friend or what prompted the fracas, you have to be explanation more, propounded on the theme, since this poem is not abstract

The poem did not deviate, I wrote the reason for the fracas, when I said someone told her I called her a whore but it was "hoe" that was uttered and even at that, I was not the one who enunciated the taboo syllable.

author comment

Perhaps you shouldn't be so forward about this. Obviously someone is mad at you. Still based on this I feel like at points you are making yourself the victim. If it's an apology you are looking for I would be a little selfless and make sure you understand the other person was the victim and you are just trying to make amends for her pain and spite

Unto Oblivion, We Depart

Yeah I guess you're right, she's hurt; but how do I appologise?

author comment

When I apologize (because we all seem to do it a little differently.) I acknowledge what I did wrong, admit to your friend where you made your mistake. Tell them what you would do differently if time and space could bend and allow it. Understand their pain...delve into the root of why she's mad. Not just black and white why she's mad...but literally her thought process. If you put yourself in her shoes you'll know the best words to say to heal a broken heart. All you need is to reflect your words off that idea. Then when you are proud of what you have written, as you should be, I would take her off alone and read it to her. Don't be afraid to beg for a chance to read it. Don't be afraid to say something along the lines of she never has to talk to you again if shell just listen...good luck to you

Unto Oblivion, We Depart

Well Malice2112, that sounds real chivalric and I fear that age is past but I will anyway, I hope she'll listen, so should I edit, write a new poem or read this to her?

author comment

You have a good start, why throw it all away and start new? Just think of this as a guideline and write a letter to her from it. Remember, she is the victim as Malice 2112 says. You did good when you said that "You just stood by and let her name be sullied without sticking up for her. I wouldn't even mention the fact that you didn't say it, why should you be blamed? The apology that you should make is; "I'm sorry that I did not uphold your reputation as I should have; "Please forgive me!" Geezer.
.

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Thank you G, I will do just that but I'm afraid it has been so long and I never did give her the letter...

author comment
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