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pod room

Submitted by emeka ozurumba on Sat, 2014-02-15 13:06

wan err one air, won ere
weir wear ware circus citrus cirrus
night of Norse moon sea horse

frequency keep less alert
deciduous pluck
plough implore prow
filthy barn-shed
in blink bleak beak
leak lick link foreskin pirates
cross-bone

my lip covers your eye, earth
partial patents patient
pod room
pogrom statuesque stentorian
slip lip sleep leap
canoes the pointed toe
slander toupee tendon
now the light is all taken,
by darkness

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
this poem is about night fading in and capturing all light, darkness is grave and authoritative
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

wesley snow

Sat, 2014-02-15 13:28

wesley snow's picture
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... welcome to NeoPoet.
Your poetry is original if nothing else. Almost like "beat" poetry of the sixties with strange collections of words evoking an image in their entirety. I'll be honest. I'm not sure I like it, but it has made me curious about your other postings.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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