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Plea To A Tormenting Sky

drape your cold around my shoulders
squint my eyes, daring dark
pound your thunder into my moan
brazen my heart with lightning bolts

temper me mean
stoic, and hard

aloof from this
quiet desperation

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 


powerfully emotive...needn't say more..


raj (sublime_ocean)

Thanks Raj

for reading, and expressing your reaction


author comment

For some reason this reminds me of that painting "scream" in its raw intensity. I think the word "mean" might not be exactly what you are trying to convey... hmmmm.....maybe cold?..........stan

I know the painting of which you are referring...Edvard Munch, if I recall...I should google before I type! I like, and appreciate the (comparison?).

I know the word "mean" has such a singular meaning to most people these days.
I know they will read it with that definition...but, what might be considered as an obsolete meaning is what I intended...still, now that I think more about it, , that obsolete meaning doesn't
work well either...better un-remove my thinking cap! There are only a few million other words to consider as a replacement.

thanks for your advice


author comment

all i can say is WOW

i love this – very powerful

i like the word ‘mean’...-i think that in the context of the write the archaic meaning is understood.- i believe the reader understands this... but if you’re looking for other words, i have some suggestions - balanced, equitable, just, unbiased, honest... but (lol) i still like ‘mean’...

great write
love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

thanks Judy

our astute Stan got me second guessing...not always a bad thing...but I am glad you showed up, now I can backtrack, and retract my semi-reluctant capitulation to his idea.

saved, once again by Ms Judyanne....sorry Stan,,, the lady prevails!


author comment

I Never intend any of my word change suggestions to be used verbatim. I throw them out to get ya'll to review if the word you use really conveys what you want to convey. Don't Ever capitulate just because an idea comes from me. After all, only the author knows exactly what he's trying to say while I merely stumble around guessing lol.....stan

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