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Playing Hooky...

I am playing hooky
just looking for some cheer
Thinking about having a cookie
to get away from here

Two cookies and a cup of tea
for breakfast, is what I'm thinking
I sit watching out the window
Whilst my tea, I'm drinking

The sparrows from the eaves next door
swooping low then high
Up in the hole with straw and stuff
to keep their nestlings dry

Mother Nature is back with Spring
her baby of warm wind breath
Taking back the landscape
with the advent of Winter's death

Here you go, my birdie friends
have some crumbs of cookie
Take a breather little feathered guys
play a little hooky

This hooky thing is working out
feeling good with cookies
I've been here most all the day
just sitting, playing hooky

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.


The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:


The poem "Playing Hooky..." captures the essence of taking a break from routine and enjoying simple pleasures. The speaker's desire for a cookie and tea for breakfast and watching the birds outside sets a peaceful tone. The imagery of the sparrows swooping low and high and the mother nature's arrival with Spring adds depth to the poem. The idea of sharing cookies with the birds and encouraging them to take a break is a sweet gesture. Overall, the poem is a nice reminder to slow down and appreciate the little things in life.

However, the poem lacks strong structure and flow. The lines are uneven in length and do not follow a consistent pattern. This makes the poem feel disjointed and difficult to read aloud smoothly. Additionally, some of the rhymes feel forced and unnecessary, such as "away from here" and "what I'm thinking."

One suggested line edit could be to replace "I've been here most all the day" with "I've been here all day long" to improve the flow and rhythm of the poem.

Overall, while the poem has a charming message, it could benefit from stronger structure and more natural rhyming.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

Hello, Geezer!
I hope this was as much fun to write as it was to read! I feel as if I've taken a needed breather just reading it! What a fun poem, and very clever!
Thank you!

the read and comment, I was a bit peeved at the AI for a bit, then I realized that it didn't know that they were magic-cookies.
I guess the concept of getting stoned and vegging out, doesn't occur to it. I keep reading it over, looking for the stumbles that it sees and reading it aloud with the proper line breaks, I can't find them. Oh well, I guess even AI's aren't infallible. I don't know if I want to share with the squirrels, they are a real pain in my ass, always digging into the trash and strewing it about on the pick-up day. Thanks again, ~ Geez.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

author comment

Such a different delivery method. I’ve been burned too many times lol. I always end up sleeping it off and playing hooky from consciousness altogether.

I like the conversations with the sparrows and birds. That’s accurate for me. I usually feel really connected to nature when influenced by cannabis so I can picture that actually happening.

I can’t really see anything I’d change to strengthen the poem. As usual you’ve put some thought into it and did your own proofreading.

Nice job
It’s easy to eat too many cookies

you're right, it is too easy to eat too many cookies. I have the proof right around my middle to prove that! LoL
Absolutely love the generations of the sparrows that live under the eaves of the house next door; been watching them ever since I moved in here almost ten years ago. While my friend Bob was still alive, he did a fine job of fixing up the outside of the house and when it came to the hole in the eaves, he said, "I can't cover their home up, they were here before us, and I'm sure that the previous owners let them be too." We put up a ladder and managed to rescue a couple of the nestlings over the years after they fell from the nest, before the neighborhood cats got them. [Contrary, to popular belief, they won't push them back out, or refuse to feed them if they smell your scent on them]. As a matter of fact, they were anxious to get back to taking care of them and started to almost before we put the ladder away. As always, I am glad that you enjoyed my work and stopped your busy life to comment, thank you, ~ Geez.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

author comment

Such a fun read and a good way to escape the monotony of daily life!! Good job!


I'm looking forward to seeing the neighborhood cats again. My room is all changed around now, and it will be harder to look out the window, but maybe it will encourage me to get out to the backyard more. I need the sunshine and fresh air. ~ Geez.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

author comment
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