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written by Griot Shirley Christian
copyrighted May 18, 2006

I didn't ask for it, she offered, and I didn't turn it down,
Is it my fault women want to give me things every time I come around?
Don't blame the player, blame the pimp who invented the game with that American dream lie,
School integration, politics, the revolution and Priest in the movie Superfly.
Wasn't my fault I was only in fifth grade with my head in a book,
The little white genie became mesmerized after taking only one look.
"I'll do anything you want me to, get you anything you need,"
Well, what was a player to do when my heart is filled with greed.
I want candy, cookies and money, I gotta' have it, can you git it?
Poof, in a puff of smoke she disappeared into her bottle and came back wit it.
That was only the beginning of my new found control, I started looking ahead,
Three decades later I'm still in the game with an insatiable appetite looking to be fed.
Don't blame me for my lifestyle of choice because I'm a smooth talking woman slayer,
I'm just trying to survive in a cold and cruel world as the most valuable player.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Direction): 
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


First, you don't have to worry about copy-rights here. Neopoet has a strict policy of all your work belongs to you!
Secondly, your poem is not free-verse, it is rhyme. Western rhyme to be exact. Your poem is good for a first post! We welcome you and hope that you will find what you are looking for here. We are a place where you can participate in the critique of others poems and we hope that you take advantage of that. Just as you wish to know what others think of yours, those others want to know what you think. If you look around here, you will notice that paragraphs when writing poems isn't a very common method of presentation. It makes it a little hard to read for some. I would suggest that you at least double-space to give the reader's eyes a chance to take in your thoughts. All-in-all, a good post and I hope that you will continue to work and take advice from our members. You do not have to use everything you receive, but I think that you will find that a lot of it will help you make your work better. BTW, your beginning and end were just fine! Again, welcome to Neopoet. ~ Geezer.

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