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Photosynthesis

Jasmine flowers exhale
perfume along mossen lattice sanctuary
We smell the sweet sighs
but only bumblebees hear
the oxygen escape their silken throats

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Another older poem, resubmitted
Editing stage: 

Comments

Very anthropomorphic
anatomically absurd and great write.
It leaves a feeling of insane tropics.
I hear bees with elephant ears enjoying
an atonal symphony of oxygen
escaping non-existent lungs
of Jasmin plants,
the sweet smell confined
in the moss-lined tiny space.
Is it imavinary or real?
Something in between.

IRiz

Thanks so much for the read and the kind words. I love to see how you imagine it! I couldn't hope for better!

Take care,
Kelsey

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author comment

Only one word for this Breathtaking.

Love J xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

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