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Perspective Perception Reality

Submitted by China Blue on Thu, 2011-02-03 20:31

Halos fill my eyes
In the distance there is no light
Words come and go then disappear
Only to reappear partial and broken as lies

The pain surges and pulses
With each heartbeat
And will not end

Objects appear before me
Breathing and taunting
Close
Much too close

I reach for a shadow
That was never there
Brushing it aside
Into the air

The ache
The pain
Is always there

A common occurrence so they say
But I look forward to the day
When tripping over my feet
And my tongue
Will be gone

Soon, soon
The pain will end
When colours will shine bright
Once again

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Last few words: 
I will be going for a cornea transplant early March Hopefully it will help
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Candlewitch

Fri, 2011-02-04 09:44

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The beginning lines are very powerful! They kick the poem off into high gear right away! My favorite lines, though, are the dark ones:

I reach for a shadow
That was never there
Brushing them aside
Into the air

I do so hope that all your lovely colors are soon returned for you. I am thinking of you and will light a candle with your name on it.

Love, Cat

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Geezer

Fri, 2011-02-04 11:06

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about what prompted this poem, but I do feel the pain of it. My only crit. of this one is the use of [distant], instead of [distance] and the use of [to] instead of [too]. Oh, duh! I just figured out the reason for the write. I hope that things will be back to normal for you soon. Love and huge hugs, ~ Gee

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Kailashana2

Sat, 2011-02-05 09:52

G, Chrys, I just read up on the surgery (info on the net may be watch the video though I'm a still a bit squeamish).

Sometimes we really do need information that is vital to the poem. Well done and definitely introduces us and illuminates.

My best to you. Thankfully you have Lonnie.

~A

p.s. excusez-moi for the misspell

scribbler

Sun, 2011-02-06 17:03

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Geez beat me to the only flaws I saw lol. To be betrayed by one's own body be it eyes, knees, ears or what ever is perhaps the cruelest of all betrayals. Your poem describes your symptoms in detail. I hope upcoming surgery is successful and you have my best wishes...................stan

Candlewitch

Wed, 2011-02-09 11:36

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just a minor mistake:

Much to close (should to be too?) I came to read again, as I was thinking of you.

love, cat

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

loved

Wed, 2011-02-09 14:14

loved's picture

The ache
The pain
Is always there

loved

Race_9togo

Wed, 2011-02-09 22:33

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This is a good poem, regardless of the circumstances.
My grandfather suffered from catartacts for almost a decade, and was completely blind by the time we convinced him to get the surgery.
He told us later that he wished he'd had it done years earlier: it was like being re-born.

I will pray for your quick and complete recovery.

Respectfully, Race

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