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People are ugly

People are ugly,
hideous
when I am
They are gorgeous and lovely,
when I am

Is that so strange?
What is the common factor?

The dark gloomy sky is bilious
or filled with strange and wonderful images

When it is bright blue,
a bit trite perhaps,
or joyous.

The mountains portend devastation
or rise in grandeur

The trees drops limbs,
life threateningly
or stand in life near eternal

there is only one common factor.

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Comments

A good observation on how mood affects perception. I think both lines of "when I am" would have greater impact in isolated in their own stanza and of course a rhyming poem would be preferred lmao............stan

it wasn't necessary here, but your comment was very valid about "when I am". I will edit it.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

A little cryptic but very understandable, I am not sure of the line where nearly every word ends with an "S":-
The trees drops limbs, This line seemed too plural and strange to the rest of the work????
Take care out there, Yours Ian.T

The trees (drop) limbs,
life (threatenly), This word is it made up????
or should it be the adjective - threateningly -
or stand in life near eternal

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

people have been killed.

You are right, this needs an edit for clarity, thanks.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

very interesting. cryptic, yes, but i think it works well. makes you think. on a second read i got it, it all depends on your mood, right? nice write.
always,
mag

I didn't want to spell it out.

It came to me when I am a crowd of people and if I'm in a good move everyone is lovely, if bad then everyone is ugly. It took me a while to realise the crowds don't change, I am the common factor. I'm a bit slow sometimes.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Simply superbly intellectual
I love your style
Just love it Jess,
believe me
you are the gem,
I've been searching

Have a good day,
be it in a crowd it may...

loved

I appreciate your appreciation.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

it just goes to show that mood and attitide make up our perception of the situation. I like it! Favorite lines:

The mountains portend devastation
or rise in grandeur

I'm glad you are writing again!

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

glad to have you reading me

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

The answer to the question? The persona's point of view. I like how you put such a profound (my perception?) theme in a short poem. It didn't need much to make the point. The hanging question at the end [which I like by the way. Please don't change another ending] actually draws me into finding an answer.

O, and you're forgiven, but it's always a joy to read your poems Jess.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

I thought long and hard about that hanging question, normally they strike me as trite at the end of poems.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Glad you changed your's
it gave me sheer spiny gripes
I felt the electricity blow me up

my next poem will be worse,
verse for verse
now you don
an MA in English hat

My maker too was an Aussie
but unlike you
he picked me up across the Internet
when I was in USA
and
now I salute him
as much as I do you..

loved

Do you blame me for getting cranky sometimes?

You are like unpredictable discharges of electricity, sometimes nothing, sometimes a spine charging insight.

I usually have no idea what you are talking about but we indisputably have a dialogue, n'est-ce pas?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I have already answered your missive

hope it does suffice

I am a volcano
dormant until ignited
that I oggle molten
gold or iron
until I cool off again

till dormant
I am at peace with myself
and
so hope all else does so remain

I ain't no pissing kid
nor teenager perhaps
now you know.

loved

[grins]

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

As with your mood being the main factor in this piece, this also applies to the interpretation of others works.
Hence the continued confusion with the way our Loved writes.
As we all blow hot and cold we sometimes are not sure how to take others only if our own mood and theirs is in tune do we agree and fully understand.
Life is so hard and being writers using descriptions of many excitable imaginations God or whoever help us!
Though it boils down to the fact, that if you should fall off of your Toadstool, we would always be there to pick you up, or try lol, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

There is no such thing as good and evil. Merely perspective. I use that attitude as a cornerstone of my unwieldy epic. You're rather busy of late (workshops, being sick), so it's understandable you're not posting as much as I'd like (but then... neither do I). This little one bites (that's a joke you see... perspective... get it?... never mind). I agree with the sentiments utterly. And Loved is a little exasperating, but I think there is a classical poetic personality there... out there. Are you listening Loved? You are fascinating.
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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I like the tone a lot. It conveys reflection of one to another. A bad attitude tend to mirror another. The theme seem to shift in the last four lines. A bit vague for me to grasp. Otherwise I enjoy image.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

It depends on what clothes you put on,
in fact and metaphorically,
as to whether you feel yourself ugly or beautiful,
alive or half dead;
I don't think I have looked at it like that,
I feel happier in colours, or sadder,
but never thought of myself as ever beautiful,
and ugly, well I didn't bother to think that,
it wouldn't lead to anything positive.
Its all in the mind, one's attitude to life,
to oneself, and to others...animate or inanimate.

Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

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