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PENULTIMATE WALK REVIEWED

PENULTIMATE WALK

I was feeling
my chest was too tight
was it like my last night

Went off the air
rested

Now I return
having tasted
a new imagery
a fresh vision

No one can go
neither could Buddha
or any Lord for that matter
unless the spark does extinguish
or does finally banish
and then
ultimately lightening
does one arrest

those who consider themselves
as immortal
this is just a glimpse
of what could
or would happen

Till then keep awake
poets and readers
the verse must be voiced
ere you are Invoiced

the world becomes
bereft
of
you know me
as you always walk
besides
as the most well read poet

that you all make of me

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earlier versions

Then I was feeling too tight

was it like my last night

Went off the air rested

Now I return
having tasted a new vision

No one can go
neither did Buddha
any Lord for that matter
unless the spark fails
or does finally flicker

and
finally lightening
does arrest

those who consider themselves
as immortal poets

this is just a glimpse
of what could or would happen

Till then keep awake
poets and readers

The verse must be voiced
ere

the world becomes
bereft
of
you know me
as you always walk
besides me
as the well read poet

SECOND ONE BELOW

Lonely long walk
The last walk we all have to take alone
we can maximum walk
up to the cemetery or graveyard
or the incinerator..
lonely long walk

lonely long walk
His having taken the lonely long walk
all alone...
having left the pal
he once called his own
brings tears to my eyes

but dear poet
all must find their own way
some come early
go late
many come
but just can’t wait

it's life's twists and turns
we all don't come
or go by turns

I read in the newspapers every day
some born in 1923 are still/yet on their way

others who came as late as 2002 .
have already flown away
that's life we all say

so be happy
he did with you play
it must have been a long pathway
so let him now
in his peace stay
we all will follow
the same lonesome pathway

so till then reconcile early
as you may...
we all have but to walk away

some day
one day
if not today

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I liked the write,
The only thing that seemed wrong was the line that had 1121 at its start
This line is redundant and can be taken out , the trumpets were much too loud.
They make the whole write sound catered around a singularity.
Still loved it though.
Take care, Yours Ian ..

Words can build a nation

Ian
your wish
is my command

author comment
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