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My written thoughts halted,
A trusted friend abused
from night time overuse,
has run out of magic juice
to feed my passion

Ideas dangling in my head
denied in reality,
give birth to frustration.

Silence interrupted
as I paced about
trying to disentangle
my jumbled thoughts.

A lesson learnt,
never take things
for granted....

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


That damn piece of white paper
without a word written on it,
the others discarded into file 13,
where they will be recycled tomorrow,

If only we had perfect recall,
but here we are not that pure.
Words tumble from our pens
most fall on the floor,
swept up and lost for ever more.

Then you must at all times
carry a digital recorder,
see that doesn't rhyme,
So all these long boring days
I have been wasting my time,

To bring poems to your ear
The recorder will make things clear
It is endless all these things you need
An audio typist now to transpose
All the digital words, now I must close

It could be a long day
Just to show you another way
To compose more poetry
For the Neopoet's stream.

Now I have to sit here and read
When I could be asleep
and in the middle of a dream.

Yours as always Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

This piece is just a simple practice to revise what I have learnt from Stan's imagery workshop. Thanks for the visit and the comments. Don't stay up too late my friend. We can't have you falling sick.


author comment

To say that this poem displays that you Did learn about the right amount of imagery to use in my shop sounds a bit like me blowing my own horn so instead I will say merely that this poem has better use of imagery than you displayed when you first came here. I also note an improved use of your non-native language and its nuances.

I think it might strengthen this poem a bit if you divided into stanzas at the end of each line of thought. But that might just be this old rhymer's tendency to see structure lol.........stan BTW this is 3rd visit to this poem over a 2 day period. I did this so I would not be hasty in making comment

for taking the time to visit and for the encouraging words.


author comment
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