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Peacocks Noel Wished

This was a fuel like no other
A feather love me down hard work of
"Gifts of Mastery"
Robin Renewal smiles came about
The ambiance so much potential
So loving and substantial
Her Eightfold path of wisdom

Like a fire phoenix Peacock birth
of the Kingdom. So pure thoughts of
immortality. His eyes winged her face
Belladonna feathers and family gathers
Madonna more feathers embraced
The White Peacock of the Nirvana
Here comes Ladybird Oh! Donna
One chosen Bird called Prima Donna
Roaring waters to feather their soul
Then bam crash Kaboom lost control
Then a thump heart race

Peacocks and the Forestal Palace
The gems of Gump, an ornate box to hoot
That's some loot peacock initial boot
A screech Lady Madonna speech
Then an Arabian Shiek
The peacock feel in love every week
"Ever-Smiling" Spiritual place to seek

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage: 


There are many beautiful images in this poem, but I'm afraid I don't understand it. Is it a story? Is there anything else you can tell me about it?


Advocates Coordinator

Critique, don't comment.

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i'm not bogged down in a need to know everything,
your words are as sharp as a knife to the aorta.
you kill me.

Best wishes....val.

Yet you've posted three poems since so I guess that didn't work, even creatively speaking.

I get Kelsey's problem but also I think sense your intent. The hotchpotch of unrelated mythologies and disparate spiritualities seem to be be attempting to create a universal mythology and spirituality.

It doesn't work.

Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

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