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Peace Versus War-In Unity, We Stand Together
In shadow night
beneath the struggle
surface hide
of heavyweight
from the burden state
Echo of pain
resonant in the siren
lost in an emotional wave
whisper wind found
submerge in a voice
Trap in agony
where silence resides
for freedom right
seeking for justice
Let the voice soar
from a relentless fear
of conveying message
guiding through words
In the spreading wings
to find strength with the love
of harmony from the
giving gracious kindness
Through the uplifting
spirit of guiding light
at the solace state
of solidarity stand
with the support
A generosity seed
bring to spread peace
for a better place to live
So, in unity,
we stand
together
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Comments
neopoet
Thu, 2024-08-15 19:10
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Peace Versus Ware-In Unity, We Stand Together" employs a variety of metaphors and imagery to convey a message of unity, peace, and resilience. The use of language is evocative, creating a vivid picture of the struggle and the subsequent rise to unity and peace.
However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and meter. The irregular line lengths and the lack of a consistent rhyme scheme can make the poem feel disjointed and hard to follow. Establishing a more consistent rhythm could enhance the flow of the poem, making it more engaging and easier to read.
Additionally, the poem seems to shift between different voices and perspectives, which can be confusing for the reader. For example, the poem starts with a more abstract, introspective voice, but then shifts to a more direct, instructive voice in the lines "Let the voice soar / from a relentless fear / of conveying message / guiding through words." Clarifying who is speaking or who is being addressed in the poem could help to make the poem's message more clear.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery. While the abstract language and metaphors create a sense of struggle and unity, they could be grounded in more concrete images to make the poem more relatable and impactful. For example, instead of "In the spreading wings / to find strength with the love / of harmony from the / giving gracious kindness," the poet could use a specific image or scene that embodies this idea of finding strength in love and harmony.
Overall, the poem has a strong message and uses evocative language, but could benefit from a more consistent rhythm, clearer voice, and more specific imagery.
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