Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

pavillion royal

Submitted by emeka ozurumba on Wed, 2014-03-05 12:56

tentacle ten table
octopus wing oscillate
quaterfoil moulded splayed lea
banqueting from Brighton
Saunders tapered padded
paneled sea trails cut brass
trellis elixir sprayed aprons
outline eastern wise men
dragons of habitual
above their firmament
inlay of prominence, water colour view
combining Gothic and oriental elements
electric fantastical fanatical

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Ian.T

Thu, 2014-03-27 18:34

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

I understand that this is a description of a structure but it would be enhanced with a story to hide in the place and a theme to bring out the words you have used even from a child's eyes view.
your poetry is running far too fast for most,
Take care talk to you more when time permits,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.