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Pastoral

Sustained by sunlight, gentle rain,
rosebushes grow in my garden.
At dawn I listen to the rising breeze
whispering in the foliage;
I reflect on all my unfulfilled wishes,
those rueful entreaties that had come to naught.
My seemingly fragile will is resilient,
like the dew-glistening spider web
that entraps hapless small prey.
Here, in this nature spot, I find my haven
where I feel free of care.

I welcome morning’s tranquility,
pleasantly enhanced by a lark’s
cheerful song as she glides high
above the nearby canal
that shimmers in the rising sun’s gleam.
Human din does not yet permeate
this peaceful haven as I absorb
my early backyard mockingbird’s
cheerful imitation of various bird songs.

Stealthily, like a prowling cat, twilight nears,
and with it, brings out the evening star
Distant church bells toll the vesper hour.
Slowly, darker clouds drift in.
Once again, breezes move
through my rosebushes
and nature’s creatures listen
to the rustling of leaves.
Thunder crashes;
through the screen door I faintly hear
the recording of a great master’s Pastoral
Symphony; a perfect ending of a perfect day.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

It does seem to be a perfect ending to a perfect day, when the distant thunder rumbles and a cool breeze blows. A pastoral symphony, indeed. Maybe just a little sprinkle to wash the dust of the day from her handiwork. Mother Nature is finicky like that; when she knows someone is coming to visit, like all good housewives, she insists on cleaning a clean house. ~ Geez.
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that's what housewives seem to like best; cleaning up where nothing needs to be cleaned. At times I wish I had married a slob of a woman . . .oh, no! There she comes again--with her mighty peacemaker-- the mop. Ouch! Thanks, Geezer. Glad you read my pastoral. Jerry

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author comment

Ok I read this 3 times before I could come up with a suggestion lol. That first line in last stanza is abrupt in its change from morning to evening. This could be easily remedied by something as simple as adding "Until" at the start of the line. But this is only one idea and I'm sure you can come up with better

I have made some changes to the last verse--and now I'm off to socialize with my muses. (They are knockouts. Eat your heart out, lol.) Jerry

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>Please visit my website: www.jerrykspoetry.com

author comment
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