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The past in you

If your words
can mean so much
for another woman
I am only a particle
from my own delusion...
I just want to touch you -
but I won't do it.
Thinking about you is a mistake
my heart cries
while I laugh with my friends...

I read the newest verse -
you dedicated it to another girl
but as soon as I wish
to hurt me
why the hell,
am I still mad?
I draw with crayons
my appearance in the dark -
by order, in your style,
because for me the difference
is the biggest threat…
To be honest with myself, I'm not -
even the poems are not colorful
that text written for you...

his sequel withered.
A new character in the novella?
How can I admit
that it looks like you again?
Does it make a difference
will he be able to love me?
I won't cover up
the feelings and the wounds
I will be proud of them
because I am happy too
from the fact that they destroy me
always with a different beat...

You don't pray, you don't show
all that lies beyond
your idea of the past
and the pieces stained with blood.
Maybe I should lie
that I got over you
and that it doesn't hurt anymore
but as for my poetry
sincerity does not speak
so what's the point
all this to continue?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Dedicated to the man who dedicates his poems to another woman.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Explicit Content

Comments

Outstanding and beautifully crafted piece. The flow was a perfect one.

Nice job!
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

Thank you very much for your comment. I appreciate it!

Dari Georgieva

author comment

Outstanding and beautifully crafted piece. The flow was a perfect one.

Nice job!
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

Longish, and expresses strong sentiment. Perhaps some of your descriptions can be made even more stronger by taking time to edit descriptions into shorter phrases. Short, powerful descriptions bring forth extremely powerful pictures in your readers minds.

I am looking forward to reading more from you! Thank you.

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