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Passing Moment Beach

A man began a regiment
of walking down the beach,
another counted grains of sand
and placed them out of reach.

The first continued walking
up and down the shore,
whenever he would raise his head
he'd see and feel much more!

Their differences seem rather stark
each owned moments, equally;
they parted in perspectives
for their own is all they'd see!

One could easily remember
each moment held by hand,
the other's souvenirs were visions
the counter couldn't understand.

Each in their contentedness
existed worlds apart,
while the values of their moments
still had worth in each man's heart.

Then, we have the two of us
wondering how this story ends;
it matters not our interpretations
sharing moments makes us friends.

However, l will share my thoughts
on what the story's all about,
they both liked the ocean's shore
but, preferred a different scenic route.

One's treasures lied in sightseeing,
the other's was more hands-on;
both had their own ways of remembering
moments that otherwise would be long gone !

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


I enjoyed this Walrus and the Carpenter kind of rant, an unusual angle too.

I tripped a little in the rhythm when I got to the next last verse
"However... etc the story's ALL about ...
And "one's treasures lied in sightseeing," lay perhaps?
One's seems slightly ungrammatical, but I am no specialist on that score.
Does Stark need an e, perhaps in Norwegian:)

It will be good, I like the absurdities like:
"another counted grains of sand
and placed them out of reach."

Slightly weird but fun, and as Erik said just now,
" rhyming is always best when it has humour in it,"
and I see his point with this poem.

Love Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

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