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Parting ( an Aubade)

Stars are fading, night is waning,
to closure came the time between dusk
and dawn. Restless mockingbirds
sing burbling scales of love songs,
repeating those that we had sung
in happy evening hours.

I gaze at you this one last time
and whisper words of love
as softly as the morning breeze
that soon will carry me
from your doorsteps. But you are
asleep, you hear me not.

Then, of what use is my entreaty,
of what use are my futile sighs?
You still sleep unencumbered
in your dreamland, among
the blessed spirits, joining them
in roundelays—while I must
depart with the rising morning breeze.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


as I am @ 80 years
sans all
owing now to Covid
experience similarly
poet like you
you inspired me
Do scan

Touch Me Not

my wife is sleeping in while this old fellow is running to the store, and therefore our parting is very brief, but she will love the fact that I wrote an "Aubade" a "parting song" for her and slipped it on her pillow. Thanks again, fellow-octogenarian. I'm pushing 86 but feel like 35, lol--at least mentally. Take care of yourself. Jerry.

author comment

I still feel like @19
though sans all
as you know

let her sleep she looked after you till 86
hope for more
life w/o a wife one would like to abhor
men rarely can survive
w/o a wife
they all can
without a man

so they sleep
they know to the Mall you will go
Men can't live on an empty stomach
all know

I am missing
fish and meet
ribs and chicken
only egg
daily I get one
may live longer perhaps
when you are free
do read
Inspired by ole pal Jerry you
as you are 86
may I Sir

a wise man once said: Thank Good for our sweet ladies; without them, we guys wouldn't be around. I mean, who would cook our steaks? Certainly not me, lol. And who or what would keep my bed warm? Some old hot water bottle? Mine just fed me...I mean my youngish wife just did .... Okay, count your one egg, take care of yourself, Lovedly.

author comment

one egg
we all were made out whole
from one only
hole and sole

I am not familiar with this form (Aubade) but loved this piece,,, it is smooth on the tongue,...emotes desired feelings ...appears to be a difficult form...would love to know about it...

truly enjoyed this one..

raj (sublime_ocean)

put your one egg in the basket and count to one. One---one--one. Lol. see ya when it's hatched. Jerry

author comment

an aubade doesn't need to rhyme nor does it need to have a specific structure. The words just have to come from the heart. Here is all the info one needs to write a "morning song; An aubade is a morning love song (as opposed to a serenade, intended for performance in the evening), or a song or poem about lovers separating at dawn. It has also been defined as "a song or instrumental composition concerning, accompanying, or evoking daybreak". Aubade - Wikipedia (I enjoy writing serenades as well.)
I write much of my love poetry solely with my wife in mind. Honestly, she deserves it.
Thank you for reading and the nice comment, good friend. Jerry

author comment

appreciate your elaborating at length about what Aubade is and how it differentiates with a serenade....good to know your source of inspiration for writing love related poems come from your better half..

will look forward to

raj (sublime_ocean)

Hi, Jerry,
You should instruct a course: "Keeping Romance Alive In Your Marriage." Judging by your poetry, you have the wisdom. Those blessed, dancing spirits - what a lovely thought.
Thank you!

yeah, I have the wisdom, but would my potential clients have the funds to pay my exorbitant fees? I can't have them wince and whine to me about nickles and dimes. I'm a greedy buckaroos type of a guy. Cant afford to deal in chump change, lol. Thank you, for the comment, Lavender. Good to see you. Jerry

author comment

After reading your explanation about what Aubade is,I have attempted to write one titled "Heart Beats" which i posted just now...i don't know if it fits the bill...

be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

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