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Papillons Touch

I walked as if dreaming,
feet swallowed in Autumn colours.
Dust rising as leaves all around,
colours crowded my mind
Beauty beyond my scope
my vision impeded

Reeling senses sought me,
silent words now thoughts.
Amazing spaces drawing my will,
eyes extending as a birthday child
Drinking this in with sighs,
my memory failed me once more

Where am I??

Ridges of black walls,
try to confine me.
A landscape flows,
a rainbow rises.
Like falling leaves,
their quiet symphony

Fields only felt deep inside,
not snared by eyes.
Scenes moving effortlessly,
rising, then falling,
A lullaby of love,
you sleep you dream,

Please tell!

A thought was whispered,
echoing in my mind,
"I shrank you so"
Then on these wings,
of love you flowed
I am the Papillon free,
in your mind for all time.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
To be placed on the wings of a butterfly, to kick up the dust there and be at peace with the world, can this only be in dreams, Yours Ian.T
Editing stage: 

Comments

I'd call this "a free Papillon" which is very expressive and it is all what this piece about.
Much enjoyed this piece. Light and fun to read.
Thanks for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Good morning,
Thank you for your visit and comment, this is one I have edited from a year or so ago, the effect of being shrunk and put on a butterflies wing, it just seemed a lovely place to be, you have a lovely day over there.
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

to you too. :)
Have a nice day.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

dreamer
East of Paradise
You are a bit way ahead
Friend......Ian

loved

I have a phone line to dream land and the vision side they feed me, I love them all they give unconditional love to all, so they have your phone number LOL Take care Young Bard, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

My only crit is in the early stanzas a lack of connecting tissue leaves it a tad skeletal. Perhaps you can hear it in my reading.
https://soundcloud.com/jess-tapper/only-in-dreams-by-ian-t

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

The beauty in your words portrayed the thoughts of the poem.
I have modified a few stanzas and tried to join the whole thing into a circle.
I believe that a lot of writing should return to the start at some time in the last Stanza.
This was a piece I just wrote and didn't bother to edit that much, I just streamed it raw as it was, I like the raw words sometimes they portray the thoughts better than the polished piece where flow and rhyme come in and it sometimes appears false.
Thank you very much for your continuous reading, it will live a;ways.
I sent you a post it pad on what we call an easel card, just unfold the thing and put it where you can use it, lol, the first note is mine..
Take care of you.
Yours as always, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

excellent revisions.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Thanks for walking us through various landscapes your mind discovers in your wandering which is your forte...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

all of us can use this way of thought, just dream a while then think the dream and tell others in your writings,
Thanks for your visit, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

the exploration of thematic is second to none, and the poem is not monotonous which is a problem with expressions ,your intriguing write is water-colours spread upon glossy rainbow

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