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paling petals of the past

Submitted by Edward nigma on Sat, 2023-01-07 16:05

Placidly
paling petals
imprudently
primmed
in the past’s
pitiable
patterns
of passion
and pain .
wistfully wilting
themselves
away within
reality’s
time wrinkled
ripples of
the fallen rain .

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Lavender

Sat, 2023-01-07 17:15

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Hello, Edward,
Happy New Year! I am always stunned to read your poems with such an abundance of alliteration, and still so much meaning and logic. Beautiful image of the paling petals wilting in the fallen rain. This is one of my favorites.
Thank you!
L

Rosewood Apothecary

Sat, 2023-01-07 19:02

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The alliteration is astounding but I’m more amazed by the fact that it’s natural and never really sounds forced or reaching.

Excellent,
Tim

Edward nigma

Sat, 2023-01-07 19:18

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Well I recently had chest surgery I got out on New Year’s Eve

Now my inspiration was the song from the musical chorus line
“ at the ballet “
Which it helped get the idea of petals of the past because the song is talking about their pains and joys they’ve experienced in life . So I got the image of the petals of the past wilting away towards the still problematic present day.
https://youtu.be/lCRTWzE_MOE

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

Lavender

Sat, 2023-01-07 20:04

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Best wishes for this New Year!

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