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a page

would succumb to the whale
of his memoirs wrath
and wither by the gale
of the writer's breath

the aversion he tasted
through the years of woe
and the anguish wasted
allow him his wickedness sow

the long gone dead
and their castrate journals
allow a tear to be shed
on old, offensive portals

would lay prostrate and still
reciting the jots of ink;
a wench to his wicked will
the page his passion drink

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 


This is a treat to read, with verse two my favorite:

the aversion he tasted
through the years of woe
and the anguish wasted
allege him his evilly sow

"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent

Wei Wu Wei

really appreciate your visit.

author comment

they make ror a very powerful write
but i don't understand them (lol)

that's not to say i don't like this - i do, very much. i feel it must be about writing - writer's block, perhaps... but then again, i don't know what i think...
what ever you are saying nokros - i am liking the way you are saying it...

love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

for passing by.

author comment

A deep short piece that has lost a few now are we talking about wale or whale in the first stanza??
The moving words of the rest were excellent, look forward to your next piece.
Yours, Ian..

Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

allege him his evilly sow [his evil sow? evilly sown? I don't understand the line]

would lay prostate and still [prostrate? or a play on male incontinence?]
I would like to think this is about Rupert Murdoch, and if I'm completely wrong, I still like it so.
I had some difficulties reading it but I hope you find it of some value.

Neopoet Directors

for your insight.. have made the necessary alterations.

author comment

much clearer

Neopoet Directors

let me use this on the blog? all credit goes to you :)


of course - the pleasure is all mine.

author comment
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