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PACKING BOOKS WITH JESUS

Another box opened, this one from the ABC store
the bottle inserts removed for room
books going into the boxes,
fiction, medical, military, historical, poetry
all taken carefully off their respective shelves
placed lovingly into a new, temporary home.

It seemed like the work was going quickly.
Beside me, like just over there, I saw that
Jesus worked with me, levitating books into boxes.
I had to pick each one up
no elevations of my books, however
then again, I am not the deity of a third of the world’s population.

When I realized the what, the how, and just who
was moving books with me, I stopped.
I must’ve looked something... “You tired, my son?”
He asked with a wry smile.
Eyes dancing he said, too...“The Navy SEALs have a saying:
The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday.”

I supposed that I expected a somewhat more
theological comment, or even some sort of on-high command
with blowing wind and lightening for emphasis.
Instead his eyes just lit up with lightheartedness
looked into my eyes, my soul. “Swish!” He called…
and levitated another book into the box in front of me.

The stack of full book boxes began to fill the room.
He began to sing “Jesus Just Left Chicago”
in a vibrant baritone voice
which surprised me that he knew about ZZ Top
or He even knew the words
-while levitating a whole box of books onto the stack.

I sang with him, somehow the words of the last stanza
came to me, tho when left to my own sing-along
I usually don’t get them right.
The den wasn’t work-warm anymore, just right now
no adjustment to the a/c had been made,
I looked at Jesus and he just smiled.

Remembering that he did really have much more to do
than levitating books during my move, you know, like
healing the sick, and preaching the gospel, and
not the least of things, managing the predetermination;
or influencing people like me to read something
perhaps out of the book of Mark.

I was the one moving the house stuff
He is the one responsible for the whole world
yet here he was singing something from 1973,
not a Bach Aria full of worship.
Just then I felt His hand on my shoulder
looking into my eyes, He said “I know you can do this.”

We worked silently now.
Me with a dazzled-busy sort of productivity
He with a peaceful smile
as more books levitated and I taped shut boxes.
Jesus then asked, “When we get done here,
can we go and have a coffee?”

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
You don’t have to believe like I do, in Christianity. Not preaching here, just thought a light-hearted piece would be in order.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

this light-hearted piece of poetry. The thought that religion has to have somber, choral, music and stories, is the fallacy that has been perpetuated by those that think everything worthwhile has to be joyless and austere. I'm not a big fan of any religion, but I see it's purpose. I think that if you were to boil all of them down to a basic tenet; 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". The world would be a much better place. I think that Jesus was someone who understood that.
~ Geezer.
.

My chatroom is taking a break
if you have ideas about times that
are convenient and subjects
to talk about, contact me and we can discuss it
Thank you for your participation.
.

It was a fun write.

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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author comment

I never had Him help me with packing unless He came disguised as my friend but packing with ABC boxes takes me back as I did it over and over and over. Imagine my surprise and horror when I moved to a non-ABC state - where did people get boxes?

On a technical note, I would probably strike "that" from the end of the second sentence in the second stanza so you don't end the line on a weak word. I'd say and the same for "like" and "and" at the end of the lines in stanza 7. I'd probably move them to the start of the following lines.

I'm of a mixed mind about the next to last stanza. It doesn't work as well for me as the others because there is more tell and less show. I feel like you already did a more engaging job of letting us know His responsibilities and how literally down-to-earth He can be in previous stanzas. I'm just referring to the first four lines of that stanza.

This is a great poem about the presence of God in the everyday.

I appreciate your comments. Like the suggested placement of the words you suggest.

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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author comment

the beginning is nice and easy flowing, as is the whole piece! I'm not a Christian anymore, and I enjoyed the read. I didn't feel that you were preaching. I felt comfortable with what you wrote. there was a certain grace in your poem. I know that you put a lot of thought into this, and it shows! an excellent write which is easy to read :)

*hugs, Cat
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"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

I appreciate your comments, and am glad you enjoyed it.

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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author comment
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