Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

OUT OF PLACE

I miss the sound of whippoorwills
pleading in the night for love
each one seeking his own thrills
with spring moon shining up above

And the blanket of the milky way
no longer covers me at night
washed out as if it was mid-day
city lights all shine too bright

The window only brings gas fumes
and the smell of hot asphalt
no hint of honeysuckle blooms
I guess that maybe it's my fault

How did a man who's country bred
wind up with an urban view
as I lie here all alone in bed
wishing I was back with you?

* I have been reminded that many here have no idea what a whippoorwill is. They are nocturnal birds of medium size which like brushy field habitat. In mating season they loudly and repeatedly sing their name out at night thus givig them their name. The call is 3 notes repeated over and over an sound kind of like WHIP-poor-WILL! Hope this keeps ya'll from having to dig out a dictionary.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

ah felt the longing here lovely poem and think you owe the countryside a visit x

I don't Really live in town much less a city. Used childhood memories of Memphis and SanDiego for this. Then tried to imagine having to live in a large city Now............ugh lol. Good of you to visit .................stan

author comment

Thanks for the nudge. I'll let it sit a bit while I mull over a change. Appreciate you coming by..............stan

author comment

hopefully for a while.
.if it's okay

am I not out of place??

loved

We all need time outs occasionaly. So if you need a break, take one and get recharged and all then when you're ready to return we'll all be here. ..................................stan

author comment

u will be there as always to welcome meeeeeee

ok byee for 12 hours

loved

This is the first time I have looked up whippoorwills, thanks I always use to assume it was the evening breeze through the Bayou trees.
But now not ignorant any more lol.
Was adopted by Steven King so they say as a Horror object, and I had never really thought about it until now, Thanks very much I am enlightened. never thought about it even when DR sang "Tammy"
Loved the write from you as always, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I think I might need to put a footnote below poems which have whipppoorwills in them explaining what one is for readers who don't have them. I'd never considered them even remotely horrifying but King could find a way to scare us using a powder puff lol. Appreciate your visit...............stan

author comment

This one has a beautiful feel to it I cant see anything I would change nice work as usual :) my favourite lines

And the blanket of the milky way
no longer covers me at night
washed out as if it was mid-day
city lights all shine too bright

seem to remember a poem a long time ago I think it was Richard (not a hundred percent sure of that though)who wrote it, its title was whippoorwill it was a brilliant poem and introduced me to the whippoorwill I also had to look it up

love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Thank you I'm pleased you enjoyed it. I don't see how any poet who has lived where whippoorwills could Not include them in some poems. Guess with you it would be like a kukaburra (bet I didn't spell that right )............stan

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.