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Orange Sky

Orange sky,
That wicked red that burns against all life,
Scorching that soul in our eyes,
And driving all men mad,
All sane notions cast into the sea,
Happiness left to fizzle,
And fade,
Into that haze,

Orange sky,
That leaves me wanting your embrace,
Leaves me to cry,
And Drown in my faith,

That orange sky,
Which wraps around the mountains,
Teaches all that life forgot,
Tortures me with all its might,
And leaves me all alone in July,

Orange sky,
Leaves me with a heartache,
Leaves me to rage,

That lovely orange sky,
Who doesn’t say goodbye,
Leaves no trace,
I’ll miss you in the night,
And wait for you in the morning,
To fill me once more with life.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
A poem for my Grandfather.
Editing stage: 


With the exception of the last line of stanza three, aside from preferring a few periods in the first three stanzas, I believe you have a solid piece of work.

The last line, "And leaves me all alone in July," is unfocused and, from there, the rest of the piece is not as strong as the previous lines. Stanza four is back on track, but stanza five feels like your struggling to find an ending.

For the last line of stanza three, something stronger will be more effective.

And July homesteads dire loneliness.


Jonathan Moore

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