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AN ONION NEEDS A GOOD COOK

The road was sloppy,
The distance tedious,
The journey expensive,
It was a befitting burial;
That even though One died,
There were Many corpses to follow.

I do not regret the cost
That bought the new chapter to my life,
That brought me closer to the Truth,
That folded tattered childhood,
Disappointments, incompetence
Failures and low self-esteem
Into one ball and scoop the earth over.
In this new book, I will write great things.

I will write of your eyes that stare
Into the mysterious dimensions of my soul,
Of your smiles
That light the darkest corners of my heart,
Of your love that encouraged life into my dead thoughts.

I am an onion,
But you took the Pepper to unravel my layers
And give the public a palatable aroma
Even though my foul smell stuck to your palms.
Like a good mother, you hit me like a child
With the left and drag me to your bosom with the right.

You dressed my wound like a skilled nurse
The healing left no infirmities,
And as I pass through this moving trees and houses,
I bid the wind to bring you to me.

An onion needs a great cook!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

even try to give a specific meaning to this one!
I do know, that you have given a great simile, in comparing a life to an onion. I like the lines, I like the flow of it from beginning to end. I will give you a little room for using a capital letter to start [one]. But why the use of a capital M for many?
Put an [r] in the first [brought] and keep that one, changing the second one to [took]. I'm sure you can see the reason for that?
I will also make allowance for the use of a capital for [Truth], as you may be trying to personify it. [Pepper] too? I would use lower case for them all, but if you have a special reason for it...
sort out your endings of the sentences and either use periods and commas everywhere or not all. Watch your tenses! One example is: give instead of gave. All-in -all, a nice poem, that gives pause for thought. ~ Geezer.
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first of all your title drew me right in
you have a very unique style of writing which I find quite pleasant

are you using mother as a metaphor or are you speaking of your mother just a curious observation
Idid like your poem
Lynn

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