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ONE BY ONE

Submitted by Psyve on Sat, 2011-02-12 12:38

(Here's a light hearted one one that should get all you ladies up in arms....)

ONE BY ONE

Male chauvinist pigs roam the streets every day,
Think they can read us like books;
Oh, how we hate it when we hear them say:
You just need a fat worm on your hooks!

I have my own car, I can go where I wish,
I’m in complete control of my fate…
So, don’t let me hear you say ladies are fish,
And as fish, we must rise to the bait…

But, the lady is won,
Yes, the lady is won,
As ladies are always
Won by one,
By one, by one,
( Buy one, buy one)
Oh, those ladies are always
Won by one,
One by one,
Won!

Male chauvinist pigs are really so crass:
They hold doors open for us!
We really mind all this chauvinist jazz,
(Though we do take your seat in a bus…)
A woman can do anything a man can,
My bonnet is really a fez!
We will never surrender to man,
Even though history says:

That the lady is won,
Yes, the lady is won,
As ladies are always
Won by one,
By one, by one,
(Buy one, buy one…)
Oh, those ladies are always
Won by one,
One by one,
Won… .
.
.
There's a very early recording of what this might sound like, on the link below:
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=7060027
.
.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

Blue_Halcyon

Sat, 2011-02-12 13:56

Blue_Halcyon's picture

Not always! Some ladies are won by ladies! hehehe :-D

It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Psyve

Sat, 2011-02-12 23:13

Psyve's picture

True, BH, true...
But perhaps even so:
Won by one bai...

:-)

Psyve

("Bai" being vernacular for "woman" where I come from...)

author comment

vexations10

Sat, 2011-02-12 14:38

All I can think of is that I saw a fish riding a bicycle. I didn’t actually see one and you knew that already didn’t you. Lovely images and I love the play on the word one, won..... I have no comments thatt I think might be helpful except you might want to drop “every day” from the first line.

vexations

Psyve

Sat, 2011-02-12 23:29

Psyve's picture

Thank you for stopping by for a read. Glad you seemed to enjoy this little light-hearted outing.
The "Every Day" in line-1 fulfills two needs: it provides me with a simple rhyme for "say" in line 3, but more importantly it provides the third set of beats 2 and 3 and the fourth beat 1 in the pattern 1-2-3,1-2-3,1-2-3,1-2-3 of line-1. Listen to the 4 sets of 3 beats in line 1 thus:

MALE Chauv-nist
PIGS roam the
STREETS ev-ry
DAY (beat) (beat)

Hope that makes a little sense... And explains this from a lyricist's point of view.

Thanks again for taking the time to comment. I do appreciate it.

Psyve

author comment

Psyve

Sat, 2011-02-12 23:34

Psyve's picture

Of course this was just a light hearted little ditty and there are no battle lines.

Glad you enjoyed some of the word play there..

Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.

Psyve

author comment

Psyve

Sat, 2011-02-12 23:37

Psyve's picture

GLad it gave you a giggle.

Didn't have to reach too DEEP into my feminine side to get this one done, LOL.

Thanks for stopping by for a read.

Psyve

author comment

weirdelf

Mon, 2011-02-14 03:27

weirdelf's picture
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I love it.

Oh the battle of the sexes. We are wrong, they are wrong, we are all good and we are all human.

And if there were no men on the planet women could survive by parthenogenesis, but women living together tend to synchronize their menstrual cycles, so an entire planet with PMT would not last a month!

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Psyve

Mon, 2011-02-14 15:28

Psyve's picture

All a bit of fun....
Thanks for stopping by to comment.
Psyve

author comment

Psyve

Mon, 2011-02-14 15:27

Psyve's picture

Thank you.
Glad you enjoyed this one.
Even gladder about the other thing!
:-)
Cheers,

Psyve

author comment

Kailashana2

Mon, 2011-02-14 15:36

I wrote a poem once interchanging one/won lost it when my computer crashed but it was really interesting to exchange the words for sequence and emotion, for the battle lines drawn and crossed over... *poetically* of course.

You know how I love your music, singing and instrumentation, WRITE?

I still suffer from PMS except I can't call it that LOL. I call it pathos-man-syndrome these days.

~A

Psyve

Mon, 2011-02-14 16:02

Psyve's picture

Thank you.
I enjoyed the challange of working with the sounds of "WON-ONE" cross useage here. I added a a further musical challange to myself on this song with a sudden change in the rhythm just after "Oh those ladies are ALWAYS..." dunno if you recognised the change in time signature from 4/4 to a 3/4 here i.e. from a

ONE two three four,
ONE two three four

pattern to a

ONE two three,
ONE two three

pattern .

But I'm boring you...

Thank you for your kind comments...

Psyve

P.S. It would appear that PMS may not be entirely a Women-only thing...LOL...

author comment

Kailashana2

Mon, 2011-02-14 16:10

I notice everything, Psyve, I might not know what I'm noticing, cause I'm not *edumacated* in music... however... I love all types of music (just about!). Yours is one that has a soothing effect on me... I can listen to it, whatever my *moods*.

The Grammy awards were last night. I'm to see if I can post links to a couple of my favourite performances.

~A

p.s. I too, make up my own words as I go along in my poems, seems natural to do so.

Psyve

Mon, 2011-02-14 16:26

Psyve's picture

Anna,
I agree... it just comes naturally in the lyric writing.
P

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