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Old News.

Why do i always have to see something obnoxious

When I turn on the television to watch the news?

It's like if something isn't ghoulish or macabre it won't make the news,

And why is Africa still presented as a dark continent

When the light of civilization first shone in Egypt?

Oh I forgot the Egyptians are emigrant Arabs so they're not really African,

Look how they portray us as a bunch of barbarians and savages,

This stereotype has been in place since time immemorial throughout all the ages,

And sometime in the 19th century my teacher told me in history class that slavery was abolished,

But the truth is that they just removed the physical chains and put it in our brains so now we're psychologically shackled but we don't know this,

And they say "ignorance is bliss",

But for the lack of knowledge my people perish,

My people perish for lack of knowledge,

You see we go to school but we don't learn anything from college,

Just a plain paper a certificate after 4 wasted years,

You see I was born intelligent educated learned and sagacious but I was miseducated by the six-three-three-four system,

We need reform to fix brains that have been deformed,

And most of us are just humanoids simply roboting this planet without a purpose and a direction,

As to what to do with our lives so we're trying to be like the other person we conform to the norm,

Forgetting that we are FEARfully and WONDERFULly made and that we are all unique in our own way,

And most of y'all don't even listen to the news so you don't know what's happening around you y'all ignorant,

And the only time you try to keep abreast with current affairs is when studying for an exam or an aptitude test,

This attitude is not the best.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Trying to crystallize my thoughts on issues I see around me, they're just my thoughts don't take it personal...
Editing stage: 


but then there are many black Americans who have made their mark...Obama, Oprah, The Soul Queen, .and many more even so in I guess sooner or later the attitude will change...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Yes Raj but most of the black race is still predominantly portrayed as ignorant, uneducated or a bunch of misfits when before time we were civilized and had a civilization.

author comment

I do agree that predominantly they are still looked down upon but there are progressive people which is why there is hope....and there are brave persons like Omarosa who is making waves by taking on President Trump and the basketball player James...Kofi Annan also held office for successive terms heading United Nations as Secretary General...

raj (sublime_ocean)

so I had to read the comments to know

Many westerners (barring BLACK SHEEP) though themselves in a way are ''black''
but the rest know all about ability and colour is pigmentation only
smaller minds lack vision
white colour doesn't make one intelligent(may be snobs)
One needs to have brains
my new friends

read your third poem
in a row

is as you say your thoughts. Thoughts are an ingredient to poetry, like sound is to music or color is to painting. This a very good start, a journal entry, an essay, a speech, but it's not "poetry" to me. It leaves nothing for the imagination, does not use any of the tools of inner sound, music, image, rhyme, metaphor.

There are many types of writing. Making things look like a poem does not make it a poem. So how do we discover poetry? My suggestion is you read a lot of poetry- by the old masters, the poets of our time in your region of the world. Read about poetry and criticisms. Poetry is not easy. Like any other art or discipline you gotta put in your 10,000 hours. A few hours a day, it goes fast. I hope you
get engaged with this site and see the many types of voices and styles, and join in the conversation.
Be patient with your work. Try writing poems imitating the ones you like. But mostly, read poetry.
.. .

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Eumolphus, thank you for your comment but I beg to differ, it is poetry, it has every element of poetry sound, metre, rhythm, rhyme, besides it is an oral poem, speak it out loud, it is spoken word poetry. Listen to it here.

author comment
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