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Oh; Beware!

Oh; Beware!
The scandalousity of the acidicly,
addictively, seductiveness;

that surrounds the basic winter of your malcontent!

Cold
cannot be defined by words
from the skies of this dimension;

yet that same and exact dimension possesses the finesse
to coerce
your breathing inside the clouds to ease

and believe in a comfort, from a language of fools!

Pitiful,
the plight

of the sorrowfully motivated people.

There can never
be any gain from a pain that prefers to leave....

yet, still !...has repeatedly been requested to stay!

Go.
You, go on, a head.

Go see if you can make a difference.

You;
you, lead the way.

Show them to their reflections, in the glass acid of their scandalousity.

For ....
...there is danger on their tongues, and acid in the limelight;

plus; the night is getting smaller to my eyes.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Although I wish you had posted this while it was running. It is a grand poem in scope and belief.

Although it does suffer a little from your tendency to preach. I guess we can't ever leave behind the baggage of our pasts, eh?

cheers,
Jess
Everything changes bar one. Neopoet's 'Prime Directive'-
"Critique don't comment".
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

...maybe it's because I actually went to & graduated from Pacific Christian college, that sometimes my poetry sounds "preachy-ish"; however, I really don't mean to.
This was kind of a strange one, though....I admit it. I only list the workshops to help myself with the genre of the poem. Sorry 'bout it, if it's beginning to irritate you. I will cease & desist.
Thanx, I was just trying something different.
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

But do keep an eye on current workshops as well. Some of them, especially Renga, Fixed Verse and Storytelling are designed for relaxed approaches and your own choice of commitment level.

cheers,
Jess
Everything changes bar one. Neopoet's 'Prime Directive'-
"Critique don't comment".
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

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