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odds n sods.......

Gandhi left his sandals
on a step outside the door
they were nicked by some young vandals
whilst Gandhi 'ad a snore.
Harry Potter has grown a beard
he lives alone and turned out weird.
Dumbledore, Albus, no more
turned his toes and 'ad a snore,
Voldemort, who's ass is taut
has no nose with which to snort,
'pon the quim of slim Hermione
that easly Weasly found somewhat slime--ely.


There's a cockerel in my ear
and he bills and coos for you
whenever you are near he goes


Faith, hangs flaccid from street signs,
Hope, in the gutter lay,
Charity, is at the end of a phone line,
but the bankers have all run away.
(Bye bye Boris.)

Fully ambulatory with
onanist wrists,
neither whig,
nor tory,
nor communist,
he's loose lipped
loose hipped
quite well equipped,

he's bendy n trendy,
he's buff, n ripped.

he's not quite castrato
and gives good vibrato
to choirboys mulatto -

with belly button fluff.




I could wax on the wings of a butterfly
but, I aint that kinda o' guy.

rather kick the nuts off bastard squirrels
pull the wings off blue arsed fly.

I'm the stuff that flops off dog chops
when he's up fer it and high,

I'm a metaphor to drink s'more
I'm the toe nail in the pie.


Sphincter factor nine approaches
food for the fish n roaches,
methinks its time for me perhaps
to open up the rearward flaps.

AAChoo !!

Oh, liddle sister, Josephine,
you sure don't keep your
nose real clean.
got stalactites
o' pure pea green
my infectious sibling
snot machine.
I thought that I might shoot the breeze
with God or Mephistopheles
and ask them please to ease my wheeze
of my bad back and dodgy knees

and whilst they're at it, take a peek,
as to why my cock and arsehole leak??
Croak with the raven
bluff with the crow
the urchin
the field mouse
beneath the hedgerow
in a flurry they scurry
away away go.
Yelp with the vixen
howl with the hound
and bay at the moon
till the sun comes around.
Gino's bar and grill.

Away, away afore Bacchus
doles out befuddlement
and Morpheus has his way,
lest I awake to find myself
in the company of
sodamistic bedfellows
with buggery in mind.


Ahem !!

Behind two Lilies- sits Rose,
then Daisies
for two and a bit rows.
with Poppy, and Pansy
Petunia, Primrose.
and Bryony - who gets up
- our nose.
God bless the Cows - for beef burgers.
God bless the Pig - for their bacon.
God bless the wife n her sharp knife
for the slice of their arse she's taken.

We can, no more fetter the sea to the shore
nor the clouds to the sky
or tether the glint
in a lovers eye,
As sure as the shore loves the sea
so shall I love thee, together,
together for eternity,


It bends for thee
sweet chevin,
the cane thats cleaved
by three,
wilt thou now
sweet chevin
yield, my friend ,
for me.
There's Marmalade then Marmite
and Jams thats jammed between
the buttered bread of bard-dom
a poets sweet cuisine.
I took up campanology
and fired up my bong.
I rang that bell
to fucking hell
''till the busies
came along.
so, I've been whittling away
at a buoyant turd-
fashioned something approximating
a poo canoe-
in it, I intend to
surf the shit tsunami of old age
to-- death;
I have named it

Public - Service - Pension.


Yers,,,,,, Obadiah.

Last few words: 
Feel free to add a ditty or two.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


I didn't see mistakes
at least not many
Hey, what'd ya want
for just a penny?

Your odds and sods
tickled my fancy
thought I'd take a little chancy
a few myself I should write
take you up on your invite

I'm not so good as you I think
maybe "cause I smoke don't drink
but in fact I do agree
I'm not much for buggery
so I won't drink passing out
I'll stay sober and I'd shout
if they tried their way with me

a good bit of fun here! ~ Geez.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Thanks for that, Geez.
As you may have guessed by now,
its mostly about the fun for me.

Cheers, Obi.

author comment

this is hard for me to follow...

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Hiya, Ray.
I didn't know that! I guess The Who are guilty of using clichéd titles too.

These are thirteen separate "found poems" that made it into my junk pile,
I did enjoy writing most of them as they represent the lighter side of life.
Sorry to foist them upon you without an explanation.

Cheers, Obi.

author comment

Pleas, no apologies... and, Thanks for putting this in context for me, --after a re-read I think I see why you placed them in your submission!

The Who are an incredible band, or at least they would be if two of them hadn't died. Do you enjoy their music?

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what cornucopia of pure poetry! I much enjoyed!

*hugs, Cat

You should have labeled it as explicit content. or given a (Warning) in your title.


When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Glad you liked them, Cat.

*hugs, Obi.

author comment

there are a few gems here, lying among the snot and the turds. worth getting on hands and knees to sort them out.

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