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Allow me myselves introduce to you.
The me-me; real me as the Creator would;
Clean as crystal, pure as baby’s mind.
My true self by Law of Being.
Individualised element in creation;
The seed germ of a nobler mission.

beautiful, unspoiled, creative force
Hapless three year-old shared by many a father;
To whom a desolate child is but a bother.
Lacking love, attachment impossible;
Caregivers’ styles and moods innumerable.
Many homes and traditions I did traverse
Unfriendly rules and makers as diverse

I, a miserable child of hope
Struggling to be; grappling to cope
Acting with best of intentions
Based on own interpretations
Of muted orders clarified only
By “need i tell you silly....”
All I get were more spanks
And no heart for thanks

You pray earnestly for a better world;
But artfully prey on a feeble child
Cleric’s sweat not yielding much
On the rope the hen has perched
No rest for the hen,
No rest for the rope

Your wrath flicker at a feather’s touch
Yet to court your wrath was costly,
Your wrath being highly infectious
Not to stir others I became cautious
in the pecking order of life, I got bruises

The me-me, a clean slate in pure state;
Expression of which you found offensive,
Turned an object of intense hate.
So distraught, you became oppressive
I succumbed to your external pressures
While keeping intact my inner treasures

In innocence came I in need
Claws under a velvet glove
You took me in, no spare love
For another’s worthless seed
And so in breeding a sheep like a wolf,
Complain not of wolf in sheep’s clothing

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Help bring the best out of my work so it will meet world statndard. please feel free to critique so it will come out like refined gold after the fire. Thanks.
Editing stage: 


Not as daft as you make yourself believe;
I design own code of survival, for survive I must
A solitary but determined sprout
Rising above your withering tyranny
Above the shadow of your stifling anger
“I see you, you no see me”

The me-you, my protective façade
to please you and the me-me my true self.
Warring members thwarting adjustment
Conflict within, discord without
No fertile ground for a Cantab
So clumsy I turned a dropout

Insults, abuse, slight, I smiled through all
That kept me out of trouble, smart of me right?
Never volunteering a point-who needs it anyway?
I am a chameleon! Smiling to you, weeping within!
Conflict within me; between the me-me and the you-me;
between the me you want, and the me that i am
hence the clumsiness you so cruelly chastised me of

author comment

I just added the last three verses omitted when i was copying the poem. Thanks

author comment
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