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NOW!...NOw....Now..........................now?

Submitted by scribbler on Wed, 2013-02-27 19:53

I tried to write within the now
in wee hours of a winter night
it seems I always failed somehow
hunched over pad beneath floor light

Each time a line entered my head
and worked its way through pen to page
"now" had already skipped ahead
"now" had become a long passed age

So I tried to write much faster
fingers moving in a rush
results were just short of disaster
jumbled wordsbecamemeremush

Page after page were torn and tossed
littering floor like huge snow flakes
an effort doomed to become lost
to pen, at last, I applied brakes

So I no longer write of now
instead I talk of times just passed
"now" is just a sacred cow
and I've found some peace at last

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

BrokenShards

Wed, 2013-02-27 20:47

Overall I really enjoyed this

Overall I really enjoyed this poem. Your turned something definitely nonpoetic (writer's block) into something really impressive. I loved the rhyme (not forced at all) and I loved the ending of the poem. In the line: "now" was now a long passed age, I would suggest replacing the second now with something else so that it does not become overused. Perhaps:"now has become a long passed age" or something like that. I also don't feel the title of the poem does it justice so maybe take another look at that?

scribbler

Wed, 2013-02-27 23:34

Hello

Always nice to see somebody new reading something of mine. Thank you. I was tempted to change that line with 2 nows in it as soon as I wrote it but then thought it might serve to reinforce the futility of trying to capture the "now". I will definitely take this under consideration in inevitable edit. As to title............I almost never change a title. I think out of the almost 550 poems I've written I might have changed titles 3-4 times. My reason is that I fear it might be taken as me trying to trick readers into rereading a poem they would not have otherwise...........but this title Is a bit strange isn't it? lol. Appreciate your coming by....................stan

author comment

scribbler

Fri, 2013-03-01 12:16

Hi Eph

I have no idea how many poems I was inspired to pen which lie barely begun because the bright light came then went too fast. Appreciate you dropping by................stan

author comment

weirdelf

Fri, 2013-03-01 09:45

I am forever unwrapping the eternal present

Wow, all the hippies will have a field day of this. Don't you know that the ineffable wisdom of the Buddha, Deepak Chockfullofshit and Anthony Robbins prove you're wrong? Proud of you mate!

Life is the past, with it's baggage, the now with the baggage you can grab and the future with the baggage you've got your greedy eyes on.

Chill man, have a beer, a joint or a wank, whatever takes your fancy and write it as it comes.

This is the wisest and funniest poem on writer's block I've read.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

scribbler

Fri, 2013-03-01 12:13

Hi Jess

Now is just a point we continually pass through but can never seize because by the time we reach for it.........it's gone lol. But I guess we Can plan for future nows so that our brief stays there will be a bit more pleasant. Appreciate you dropping by and BTW I thought You were one of the hippies lmao..............stan

author comment

jetz

Fri, 2013-03-01 12:33

Now

Thoroughly enjoyed this Stan. I have missed reading you and
your unique take on life. Love your title.....so you.

Sue

scribbler

Fri, 2013-03-01 17:20

Hi Sue

Thank you and it's great to see you back...................stan

author comment

Rula

Sat, 2013-03-02 12:27

Hello Stan!

I found this a bit strange to be labled as free verse.
You are too humble to say you are unable to write about
the now. I imagine you always able to write whatever you
want to write about whenever you want.

Yes, I am a bit envious.((( wink)))

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

scribbler

Sat, 2013-03-02 12:38

Hi Rula

i occasionally mislabel stuff on purpose just to see if people pay any attention lol. You are first in a long time to spot mislabel. No need envy me either. I just scribble stuff down and hope it comes out OK............I appreciate your visit and such kind comment.........................stan

author comment

Frenchf

Sat, 2013-03-02 17:44