Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

NOW I DON'T WALK ALONE

The light of your love shines within me,
my heart now swims in your brook,
the joy of my mind is now elevated,
now i'm relying in the arms of your love.

Day by day my soul sings a melody,
a rhythm of love that is unrelenting,
you know well you're my new crush,
and i'm ever ready to take you as mine.

For a real love never hides it self,
each moment it displays a feeling,
a feeling of romantic love and emotion,
you're now my dream, my dream reality.

your happiness is a link to my soul,
I'm poised to give you forever bliss,
a dignified love and a sound peace,
will I avail throughout your stay with me.

©Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

a girl from your country, I would be impressed! You address the concerns of most women, with your profound pledge of love.
The only misstep I see is the tense of the line that says: "You [knew] well you're my new crush."] It should be [know].
Nice job. ~ Geezer.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

You really helped me here. Thanks for the eagle eye Gee...
Always grateful!
.

"Poetry is invariably imbued with a sense of calm and serenity".

~Jackweb

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.