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NOW COME CLOSER LOVEDLY RETURNS

It is a known fact
there is no smoke
without a fire

A friend of ours in the neighborhood
played the violin the whole night

His only love now after two kids
his violin
of the likes of those musicians
all would know
but
his real love was his violin
the whole world would now know
but
at those moments he came to know
what love was

as his fingers would show
her face was his violin
her hair the strings
his eyes would look no where
except her lips
he kissed the violin
as hers
stood up all hair
of those who his violin did purse

He continued to play
as I sang that day
Come Closer To Me

He just passed by

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hi there! This poem is wonderful… being a musician myself I loved your comparison of the girl and the violin. One thing… I just would clean up some of the lines as it is a bit hard to grasp the point you are getting across in certain sections (ex. “stood up all hair“). Take that lightly though as it is truly a great piece!

to go so deep
an old poem
they died in peace
years since

Shall straighten up with your help
thanks this is what NEO is all about
I'm a ROMANTIC poet

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