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Not Fade Away

My fever dream seethes me back to you
I am holding you close
with a desperate tenderness

You are saying goodbye,
but I’m somewhere else
in my fortress of doubt

Your offhand remarks,
the taking a powder looks,
should have made It clear
you were already gone

But dusty blue eyes
and a peach tree smile
give up their secrets reluctantly

Still, I hold on tighter
so you will not fade away
into the black of the night

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
A few thoughts on relationships that are on completely different pages.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

of the time I was dating an older girl, [I was a mere fifteen, she was days away from being twenty] and told her I loved her.
She responded with an under the breath "Oh shit!" and that was when I knew it was over. I didn't have to ask "What is that supposed to mean?" LoL ~Geez.
.

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Only funny after the pain went away, I'm sure - thanks Geez!

Michael Anthony

author comment

It's true, the pain of the moment is often the worst and as you gain experience in affairs of romance, you find that it is all part of the learning experience; and that, is the balm that soothes the battered heart. ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

Hello, Michael,
"Your offhand remarks..." This stanza is so raw and good, it stings. Excellent poem.
Thank you!
L

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Lavender. The living of that stanza provided several more verses, but it was a challenge to pare it down to what really mattered for the poem.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

For me, that stanza could stand alone as a poem, a thought in itself. It is piercing.
Thank you!
L

Thanks as always Teddy! I always enjoy your thoughtful comments, and glad you liked this one. Affirmative on the fan advice, LOL! I may steal your "jazz in your poetry heart" for my poetry notes journal - love this!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment
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