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Nomen Nescio

I am the shadow of a woman
outlined in a time that was not my own.
A halo of pale light traces me
in other people’s yesterdays.
I’m barely a crystal skeleton,
transparency of bones gnawed at by the years.
A dismembered body in the recollection
of troubled memories.
Requiem for lives that might have been.
Matter borrowed by spirits flown to oblivion.
Debris hurtling down an endless toboggan.
Weary of my body’s empty shell,
I wait at endless passages for you to come.
You pick up my bones from the tatty carpet.
You rebuild me. You take me in your arms,
wrapped in a towel soaked in my tears.
Serenely, stooping over a faraway sea,
you deposit my preterit body in a place
where wind and salt transmute souls
into pearls of infinite value.

Nomen Nescio: No name. NN.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I was thinking of my mother when I wrote this. She was so devastated when my father died suddenly, that she really appeared to have lost herself. I've no doubt she died of sadness. I added some imagery and ideas of my own, of course.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hello, Gracy,
This is like a spiritual journey - it seems to be a very sacred memory of your mother. Very special.
Thank you, Gracy.
L

Yes, my mother was a beautiful lady, but after my father's sudden death she became extremely thin and lost interest in life. Yes, I felt spiritual whilst writing it and tears came to my eyes. Both parents were very special to me.
Thanks and keep safe, Gracy

*
*
*
Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,
The proper study of Mankind is Man.
Plac’d on this isthmus of a middle state,
A being darkly wise, and rudely great….

An Essay On Man, III, Alexander Pope.

author comment

You have managed to fully immerse yourself into the depiction of a nameless woman, your mother. It's always sad to see the survivor of a happy union wilt away. So well done. Jerry

Yes, Jerry, so sad. You probably understand better than most people. Withering away is so trying for the rest of the family. She literraly became, as she herself felt, a nobody, lost all will power, gradually, of course.
All the best, Gracy

*
*
*
Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,
The proper study of Mankind is Man.
Plac’d on this isthmus of a middle state,
A being darkly wise, and rudely great….

An Essay On Man, III, Alexander Pope.

author comment

A heartfelt writing with raw feelings.
Excellent choice of diction. I really couldn't choose a favorite line(s).
Sometimes our grief for whom we lost make us forget to take care of those who are alive, but again we are humans with limited abilities.
Thank you for sharing dear.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Hi Rula, glad you find my choice of diction good. You're right, grief can cause people to become apathetic towards others, but my mother really had nobody to care for. I had to take care of her. It was sad to watch her deteriorate and despite encouragements she simply faded away.
Thanks for your comments, dear Rula.

*
*
*
Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,
The proper study of Mankind is Man.
Plac’d on this isthmus of a middle state,
A being darkly wise, and rudely great….

An Essay On Man, III, Alexander Pope.

author comment

A great write as usual, the only thing was the title:-
"Nomen nescio",
Abbreviated to N.N., is used to signify an anonymous or unnamed person. From Latin nomen, "name", and nescio, "I do not know", it literally means "I do not know the name". The generic name Numerius Negidius used in Roman times was chosen partly because it shared initials with this phrase.
If as the comments and review says it was in honour, or memory of someone, then the title needs attention, and I suppose those that study Latin would probably know..
But even then an anonymous person as the latin suggests seems so wrong..
Me being picky, as I have to look all these things up lol..
Take care and be safe,
Youyrs Ian x

Words can build a nation

Hello Ian, thanks for your well chosen suggestions. I shall think about the title, to my knowledge (I studied Latin for two years at uni), it simply means "No Name". It's engraved on the tombstones of unknown people, especially soldiers.
Maybe it's a bad choice, but my mother certainly "soldiered on", as the British say. But the sudden death of my Dad made her fade away, she lost all of her distinctive character and that's why I chose the title. I'll think on it, thanks again, you always help me out. Best, Gracy

*
*
*
Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,
The proper study of Mankind is Man.
Plac’d on this isthmus of a middle state,
A being darkly wise, and rudely great….

An Essay On Man, III, Alexander Pope.

author comment

I know the loneliness of someone who has lost a vital member of their family. I have written about one such person that I met while I was still driving taxi. It is called "The Nest Is Empty"> It tells of an elderly woman who lived alone with her two dogs.
The company I worked for stopped getting calls from her to take her to the store and doctor; I hope that her children came and got her or provided for her safety in some way. You have told a story of your mother who doubtless felt the same way that his woman did. It made me sad, but also gave me a bit more understanding. Thank you, ~ Geezer.
.

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

i have read this and read this, i am without words really, a very similar thing happened to my beautiful mother some years ago and i too believe she died of a broken heart! your poetry seems to leave me with a knot in my throat but actually thats a compliment of the highest kind.

Thank you...Teddy

Hello dear Teddy, for reading and commenting. So you certainly emphasize with my poem. So sad when our parents die, the one who remains can certainly die of melancholia, as freudians used to say. Family and friends do their best, but a person deep in depression does not respond. At least my mother died comfortably, in hospital the last days.
Thanks so much, Gracy

*
*
*
Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,
The proper study of Mankind is Man.
Plac’d on this isthmus of a middle state,
A being darkly wise, and rudely great….

An Essay On Man, III, Alexander Pope.

author comment

Hello Geez, interesting tale of that sad woman, I'm wondering whether anybody took care of her two dogs. Will you be posting "The Nest is Empty"?
The poem about my mother is sad, I guess I was also feeling lonely at the time, in between my two marriages. Hard times, but soon resolved by going to uni when my own children were adolescents.
Thank you for coming around, your meditations on other poets' works are always encouraging. Best, Gracy

*
*
*
Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,
The proper study of Mankind is Man.
Plac’d on this isthmus of a middle state,
A being darkly wise, and rudely great….

An Essay On Man, III, Alexander Pope.

author comment

was posted some time ago and it is in my works. It was three years and two months ago, if that helps you to find it. ~ Geezer.
.

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

Thank you, Geez, I'll look it up and comment. Bye for now, Gracy

*
*
*
Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,
The proper study of Mankind is Man.
Plac’d on this isthmus of a middle state,
A being darkly wise, and rudely great….

An Essay On Man, III, Alexander Pope.

author comment
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