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NO ENTRY

Submitted by alidzain on Mon, 2016-09-12 14:38

The door is locked.
I don't need worthless sorry,
going back and forth,
only to be hurt in a hurry.

If you only look
for the flaws in others,
you forget
you're a human who errs.

Begone from my life,
I don't need the extra stress
to build up.
I need a long, well-deserved rest.

My heart
is your "No Entry Zone".
No more fights,
Goodbye and goodnight!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Vivovon

Tue, 2016-09-13 13:45

Well. Good luck and sweet dream.

xxxxx

alidzain

Tue, 2016-09-13 15:16

alidzain's picture

Hi there, this is just one of the angry poems I wrote after a fight with someone close. I do that sometimes to let out some steam. I posted it here to see if anyone can help me express it in other words or in more poetic way.

Alid

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